Et Tu, Louis?

It's also too short for sexual misconduct, buddy.

At this point, I can't be the only one wondering if there's ANY decent men left in the entertainment industry. The avalanche of accusations that began with that garbage human Harvey Weinstein and shows no sign of stopping revealed my longtime pretend boyfriend Louis CK to be one of the bad guys. According to several different women, he had has a habit of locking women in rooms with him, removing his clothes and then masturbating in front of them.

It sounds like a set up for one of his jokes, right? Only it's real life and it's gross. Apparently, it's not new behavior. A friend who has worked in the comedy world for a long stretch of time confirms that there have been rumors swirling through the industry for years about creepy, predatory behavior from Louis. Now, the rumors seem to be true.

The minute I read about what he'd done, my perception of him changed completely. No longer was he the sardonic, insightful, female-supporting ginger of my dreams. In that moment he became the disgusting pig who exposed himself to me when I was an innocent kid riding my bike down the sidewalk. He became the two teens who tried to rape me at a kegger in high school. He became the guy who pushed things a little too far when it was blatantly obvious I'd had too much to drink at a party in college. He became the passenger who "accidentally" pressed up against me when I was a young flight attendant trying to cram carry-ons into overhead bins.

In short, he became every man who has forced a woman to see, hear, feel or do something against her will.

How many more of our idols will fall? I mean, we haven't even really begun to hear from the music industry yet. This is just the movie and t.v. sexual assault crew!

I am beyond proud of the women and men who are coming forward and speaking out. And I'm beyond ashamed at those who toss around the standard victim-blaming reactions: why did you wait so long? Why didn't you just leave when he got weird? Why did you drink so much? Why did you continue to see him/go to meetings with him/date him/work with him? Why did you wear a low-cut shirt? Why did you leave your house? Why were you born?

The thing we need to be asking is why do men do this? And more importantly: can it be stopped? As a mom to three young men, it sickens me to think of them doing anything like this to someone. Did all of these guys grow up in a home where they were taught that just because they were male they were given carte blanche to do whatever they want to whomever is unlucky enough to be within eyeshot of their dicks?

It's so good that victims are speaking out and SO freaking good that finally, they are being heard and believed. It's a start. We need to ensure that there are repercussions, consequences for the crimes and affronts these men are committing. Boycott their movies, don't buy their books and stop watching their shows.

Breaking up with pretend boyfriends, too.

If you need me, I'll be over here praying that Idris Elba is a good guy.

*I've decided to challenge myself and do the NaBloPoMo, National Blog Posting Month, and write a blog post every single day of November. I figure it's the kick in the ass I need to get writing again. I've made this one with about three minutes left of November 9th so you can see how well it's going so far. 

Stay tuned. And thank you for being here.