I can turn ANYTHING into a single mom rant...

I posted this on my Facebook page, but thought I'd put it here, too, for those of you who aren't stuck in the social media quicksand. 

It's a mini-rant that was born after I read a blog post from a dad to his son. You can read it HERE

I'm off to work now. Please share your thoughts, opinions or crockpot recipes. All are welcome.



Although I'm not a huge fan of "Dear So and So" blog posts, I like the message in this one. Sadly, it's not just Robin Ick that I don't want my boys to get their Manhood Lessons from. It's their own dad, and every other man who has been given a "Get Out of Jail Free" pass from society after treating the women in their lives like disposable pieces of non-human trash. Our culture turns a blind eye towards men like Robin Thicke, who ooze into the public eye and rake in millions for spewing vitriolic anti-woman nonsense and yet somehow, a sad 20 year old woman/child is getting trampled by a full-on hate parade.

Yeah, I know there wasn't a gun pointed to Miley's head, and yeah, I'm aware of the fact that what she did on that stage set the women's rights movement back about 100 years. And although I will admit to not watching the performance, I have yet to hear about Robin Thicke dropping his microphone in disgust and exclaiming, "Dammit, I have a wife! I have a mom! I won't be part of this travesty!". No, apparently he was just fine with having an underage, former Disney golden girl rub up on his package. In front of a million kajillion people. And BTW, have you seen the video for Blurred Lines? Actually read the lyrics?

He's no saint. Miley isn't either, but I guess the fact that she has a vagina makes her more culpable for the decline of modern civilization.

Every single day I hear from women who find themselves barely keeping afloat after the men in their lives decide to walk away. I hear stories exactly like mine, stories about women and kids left to pick up the pieces of shattered lives after their husbands and fathers decide to hit "rewind" and give themselves a mid-life do-over. And when I read this blogger's words to his son, I cried:

"A man is defined by how he treats women, by how he keeps his promises, and by how he protects and serves the ones he loves. That’s what makes a man a man. My dad taught me that, he taught it by example. I pray I can do the same for you."

Now, I'm not comparing myself to Miley Cyrus (actually LOLing at that one). But this blog post made me think about my boys, who are, for all intents and purposes, growing up without a dad. Single moms...we do it ALL. And I think most of us do it well. But we can't be men. We can't be dads. We can teach them, by example, what a good woman is, but there is no way we can even begin to teach them what it takes to be a good man. They have to learn it from friends, from relatives, and unfortunately, from what they see and hear via the media. It's not just Miley and Robin. It's every song lyric, it's every movie, it's every tv show and stupid t-shirt and meme and whatever else is floating around out there that gives them the message that it's okay to crap all over women. Because they are women, and men are men.

And that makes me sad.

Now I promise I won't talk about Robin Thicke anymore. :)


  1. SING IT GIRL!!!!

    Also, I can't believe that was originally on FB and I missed it! Also can't believe that originally on FB at all. You are seriously a gifted writer. You have voice and solid content. The two best things

    1. Thanks Nina. I actually blush when you write nice things about me. Because I envy your talent, lady.

  2. It's really something, isn't it? Robin Ick can declare in both videos that I've seen that he's got a big d*ck and no one bats an eye, but Miley prances around with a big finger and she's all sorts of nasty. The whole thing makes me sad. also, I wonder if anyone's clued him in that, typically, the more a man insists on telling people he's got a big d*ck, the less likely he really is to have just that. Just sayin.

    1. He makes my skin crawl. Patiently waiting for his 5 minutes to be up.

      I'm secretly hoping that Miley's performance was carefully calculated and that she is cackling with her publicist right now. And I also hope that she has a thick skin. I can't believe the crap I'm reading.

  3. Hi Jenny, Can't figure out how to creat a userid but didn't want that to keep me from commenting that this issue is also weighing heavily on me. No, not Robin's video (though I agree both he and his dad jointly win the super slimy award). But seriously, how the heck as a single mom do we raise moral, respectful, and chivalrous (yeah, can't believe I'm using that word but hey it's not a bad thing as long as it's not accompanied by the word sexst) boys without a positive dad role model anywhere near the picture? Seriously, how does one do this???

    1. Chivalry is okay! It's nice, even! I'm a little stumped here, too. I try to make sure my boys get positive male influences whenever they can. I requested the male 6th grade teacher for William a couple years ago. Henry has had some EXCELLENT male teachers in junior high, and a wonderful confirmation leader at our church. They see both of the grandfathers on a regular basis. Our landlord is another role model for them, and has even offered to take an active role in their lives (can I love him any more??). Plus, we talk about what it means to be a good man. I point out good men I see in the media.

      It's hard, but I don't think it's impossible. It takes a lot of work, a lot more than if they had decent dads in the picture. Which sucks. But, we gotta do what we gotta do, sister.

  4. I'm sorry but I have to disagree here. You are taking all this way too serious. This is all pure entertainment for the purpose of making money, that's all nothing more. Do you have to watch it or like it? Of course not. But Miley is not a dumb girl, she knew what she was doing. And I don't know how you can say that she set the women's rights movement back 100 years. When in reality because of the women's rights movement she's able to do what she did. That's her choice so don't knock her for it just because you disagree with it. We should all be praising people for exercising their rights not judging them for the choices they make.

    1. Dude..I'm so over discussing Miley..but since you chimed in:

      I agree with you that Miley (and her stylist and publicist and agent and manager) knew what she was doing. You and I, who (I assume) are adults, look at her see this, and comprehend that it's an act. But there are young, super-impressionable girls who watched that video and now think that "Hey, it's cool for me to objectify myself, dry hump older married guys and pretend to finger myself with a big foam hand." Do you see that?

      Also, I wasn't totally knocking her. The knocking was mostly done to Robin Thicke, and I'll stand my ground there, too.

      Thanks for reading.

    2. I understand that there are young people watching, I have a 12 year old son myself that I have to raise. It's our responsibility as parents to teach them what's right and wrong and what's real and not. Is it hard? Of course it is, but that's the price we pay for freedom. Once they turn 18 it's up to them how they want to live their lives. And even though I don't agree with many things our society does, I sure do love my freedom and wouldn't want someone telling me what I can't and can do. The best thing I have learned in life is that morality is in the eye of the beholder. Live the life you want to but don't force it upon others. At the end of the day we're talking about dancing here, not war, not people dying. Let's keep things in perspective.

    3. I'm not arguing with you. I agree that compared to the hundreds of awful human rights atrocities that happen on this planet every day, a former child star twerking at the MTV Music Awards is nothing.

      The whole point of what I wrote was that it's hard to raise boys without a solid man around. The Miley stuff was mostly addressed in response to the blog post that inspired me to write this one.

      I certainly don't feel as though I was forcing anything onto anyone. If you knew me, you'd know that I am a very "live and let live" kind of person. As long as what you're doing doesn't hurt my kids, or me, or anyone else, go for it.

      I feel confident that I have raised my boys (and my girl) to be smart, compassionate, fair people. What they see on tv and in the rest of the media, and online, is pretty much out of my control.

      These freedoms that you keep mentioning, they also include freedom of speech. I'm happy that we live in a country where you and I can express our opinions freely. Aren't you?

    4. Yes freedom of speech is a womderful thing, :-)

    5. See? We do agree on something :)

      Thank you for reading, and for the conversation.

  5. You may not be able to demonstrate what a real man is, but you can teach them how to treat a woman, by teaching them to respect and love you. Men are shaped by positive relationships with their mothers, and I'm sure you'll do a fab job. Stay strong.


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