Or so my attorney says. I have two responses to this earth-shattering news:
1. I'm rather flattered to learn that he's still a reader (do you and Skankenstein cuddle up with your Kindle and read it together?).
Concerns? You want to hear about concerns? Pull the Kindle closer, my former love, and let me tell you about some of my concerns.
For a long time, I was concerned about keeping my house. Concern morphed into grief when I lost it.
I'm concerned about my kids.
Sometimes I'm concerned about feeding my kids. Especially when the checking account contains nothing other than vapors and the slightest scent of despair.
You concerned me when you used to stay out until 4 in the morning and didn't answer my frantic phone calls.
I was totally concerned when you told me you were "going out to get coffee" and in reality "signed a one year lease on an apartment".
It concerns me that you didn't pay child support for over 3 years, because you couldn't afford to do so. However, you managed to buy lots of new things and kept your mortgage paid and ate at restaurants and made a baby (which is free to do, doy, but babies themselves are pricey).
When you first introduced your girlfriend to my kids, I was concerned about how she'd treat them. And then, when I found out about how she treated them, I got really concerned. And sad.
I'm concerned about the fact that the new fall shows are starting and I don't have cable (this one has nothing to do with my ex-husband but dude...I'm really concerned about it).
People are concerned about me raising these kids pretty much on my own. I think it's going ok, but it's hard.
Your lack of concern about the fact that you have no relationship with your daughter concerns me. I'm concerned that her future relationships are going to be effed up due to daddy issues. But knowing what an amazing girl she is, what a smart and independent girl she is, lessens these concerns a little.
I'm concerned about the fact that there is a tub of Red Vines sitting in front of me, beckoning and daring me to eat them. Again, this concern doesn't concern my ex-husband but damn. They look good.
The idea of you trying to scare me with your concerns about my blog concerns me too. I love writing on my blog, and I think you know that. And I think it scares you, which is why you're trying to scare me. All of this scariness is a cause for big concern.
I guess that about sums it up.
Thanks for your concern.
Oh, and P.S. If this blog concerns you, how are you going to feel when my book is on the shelves of Barnes and Noble?