The Lamest Blog Giveaway in the History of Blog Giveaways

Let me start by saying this: I am SO not a giveaway kind of person. Not knocking those who do them, honestly. But it's not in my nature to be all "Hey this week I have two Renuzit air fresheners to give away to some lucky gal!". I myself am actually too lazy to even register for any of those giveaways. I find the instructions and the steps either too time consuming or too confusing. Usually a combination of those two things. Do you know how long it took me to figure out how to get a URL for a Tweet? HOURS. And I didn't even win that one.

So I look at giveaways with a very "not my cup of tea" view. Until today. 

You might remember that about a month ago, I headed to the wild woods of Wisconsin to help my BFF convalesce at her cabin. She crushed her ankle doing a 5K/Mud Run up there, so her sister and I took a few days off from work and real life to help our beloved Michelle heal. 

And we may have had a few cocktails while we were at it.

Little known fact about me: Despite my current size, I am a lightweight when it comes to the drinkies. When discussing my lack of tolerance for booze, I love to reference my second favorite Dorothy Parker quote:

I like to have a martini,

Two at the very most.

After three I'm under the table

after four, I'm under the host

My best friend and her evil twin sister (have I mentioned that they are identical twins?) are totally NOT lightweights. These girls can put it away like sailors on shore leave. Many times I have had a few cocktails with them, retired for a nap, and after waking up a few hours later found them still cackling the night away. 

They know me. They know that I'm good until about 10:30. Maybe midnight if I've had a coffee in the afternoon. And usually they respect my inability to stay the course, they let me snooze peacefully on the couch or wherever I have decided to curl up and call it a day.

Apparently when one of them is injured, however, they turn mean. 

This time, after a couple rounds of martinis, I fell asleep on my special section of the cabin couch. And that's when Thing One and Thing Two got crafty. And mean.

Aside from recording my snoring, they also got creative and made a beautiful mustache out of cardboard. They found blankets and a hat and dressed me up. I'm sure they were laughing hysterically. 

Here's the look they were going for:

This is the real deal: Pancho Villa.

Okay. Maybe I'm giving my girlfriends a little too much credit. This may actually be the look they were hoping to achieve:

If you have liked my Facebook page, you know what happened. While I dreamed the dreams of a slightly tipsy middle aged woman, my cruel friends did this to me:

They even captioned it! Please ignore the Tostitos and queso binge evidence in the background.

Luckily for them, I have a sense of humor. I have to admit, I guffawed when I saw this. I was more horrified about my snoring being recorded, to be honest.

Now, if this was most people, Gringo Jenny would have ridden off into the sunset, becoming nothing more than a funny story we bring up now and then. And maybe I'd make "gringojenny" my name on Ruzzle. 

Oh, but we aren't dealing with most people here. My bestie and her twin sister carried it one step further. 

THEY HAD MAGNETS MADE. Yes, big huge 4 x 6 refrigerator magnets bearing the lovely image of yours truly all mustachioed up. They've passed them out to just about everyone we know. It's all over my school. Teachers have come up to me and said, "Hey, Michelle showed me a great picture of you!". 

Have I mentioned my sense of humor? The twins are lucky I have one.

I now also have a plethora of Gringo Jenny magnets, which my kids are loving. Evidence of which is seen below in a shot of our tiny Barbie Dream House-size fridge:

I don't need five of these. Really, I don't need any. 

That's where the LAMEST BLOG GIVEAWAY IN THE HISTORY OF BLOG GIVEAWAYS comes in.

Would you like to have a Gringo Jenny magnet for your refrigerator? They also stick on cars. And metal garbage cans. 

Here's the LAMEST BLOG GIVEAWAY IN THE HISTORY OF BLOG GIVEAWAYS details:

Leave a comment. I don't care what you say. You can tell me what the weather is like in your neck of the woods. You can tell me something horrifying that your best friends have done to you while you slept. You can tell me that "hey, Gringo Jenny, when you're sleeping, that big crack between your eyes doesn't look so bad!". Whatever.

After a few days (or when I realize that nobody is ever going to comment on this one), I'll do one of those random number generator things and pick a couple "winners". If nobody comments, I will hunt a few of you down and FORCE you to take one. So go ahead and comment. Don't make me do that.

Adios, amigos.