So, this morning I totally bent my thumbnail back while trying to stretch/wrestle a mattress cover over a mattress corner. I was temporarily blinded by the pain, and almost fell backwards in the process of reeling from it as well.
I'd post a picture of my offended thumbnail, but then I'd have to use "NSFW" and I don't want to go there.
Where I do want to go, however, is Wisconsin. To my best friend's cabin (lake home, really). She graciously gives me and my kids a chunk of time there, every summer, to have a mini-vacation. Relaxing, tubing, jet-skiing, sleeping in...yeah. It's pretty much awesome.
So, we're headed there today. I was a little worried about my injury and how it will affect the aforementioned activities, but I think it will be okay.
My BFF, however, will not be doing any of those activities this weekend. Or for the next 8 weeks or so.
Because she always has to outdo me, she took my bent thumbnail and raised it by one bent ankle: (WARNING! GRAPHIC PICTURE. Totally NSFW unless you're in the medical field)
Yeah. I hope you see now that I was being ironic (or is it sarcastic?) with the whole bent thumbnail thing. This picture actually makes my eyes bleed a little.
She did it doing a Mud Run, folks. Sliding down a fireman's pole while slick with mud. BAM down on the ankle. She told me "I almost pulled a Kevin Ware" to which I replied, "Huh?" and then Googled Kevin Ware. If the picture above made you queasy, please don't Google Kevin Ware.
My thumbnail and Michelle's ankle are all the proof I need. Housework and exercise are deadly. Avoid both like the plague, I say.
After emergency surgery, which resulted in 9 pins and one metal plate, this is what they sent Michelle home with:
I told her it looks like the world's ugliest newborn. No offense, of course. She laughed but then again, she was on Percocet.
She chose to stay at the cabin this week to get some rest. Her twin sister, Janelle, and I are going up today to hang out with her and clean (ha) and most of all, sit on the couch with her and watch Judge Judy and Law & Order.
The hardest part of roughing it at Michelle's cabin is the fact that their neighbor's wifi sucks. There's one chair you can sit in and get semi-decent access to it, but you can't see the t.v. from that chair. So when I say "roughing it", you know it's the truth.
My kids are now all too cool or too busy to go to the cabin this summer. Except for the one who's too young to fight, William. This morning he was grousing about going, saying, "But there's only 4 weeks of summer left! And when we get back from Michelle's, Papa wants us to go to his cabin! And then Grammie and Grampa are taking me and Henry to a cabin for a whole week! THE REST OF MY SUMMER IS RUINED!"
Of course this was one of those times I used some of the reasoning techniques learned in every parenting class I attended and parenting book I've read....just kidding. I naturally pulled out some heavy bags and sent my boy on a really twisted guilt trip.
I gently reminded him that there are kids who get stuffed into Rubbermaid bins and starved, and that maybe being forced to spend time at cabins with people who love you isn't the worst thing that could happen.
(now taking referrals for really good, long-term therapists)
So William and I are off for our cabin vacation. Michelle's hubby and her three kids will be there, along with our friend Andrea and her two boys, and Janelle's husband and three kids are meeting us there too. The menfolk will be kept busy taking all the kids waterskiing and tubing and jet skiing, while us ladies will keep Michelle company and clean and prepare fabulous food (although it won't compare to Michelle's cooking..girlfriend could make a baseball mitt taste like heaven). Fun will be had by all!
I just hope nobody asks me to help with a mattress cover.