I think I have a bit. Last night I was fueled by raging PMS and lingering anger over my lack of child support and I wrote a bitchy, mean post about Big Daddy.
But I'm not going to pull it.
As immature and vitriolic as it is, I'm going to let it stand. It's how I feel. My emotions may be screwier than a 2 year old who skipped their nap and took a few nips off of Mommy's Red Bull, but dammit, they are real.
I think it's wrong that a man can owe his ex-wife so much money and just blithely go about his life, acting like he's Da Man and everything is hunky dory. It's wrong that his kids, who are wonderful, smart and good people, are going without just because their dad decided to call it quits. There are sports they'd like to play, camps they'd love to attend, activities they want to be involved in, but can't, because they have a mom who is doing all she can just to keep a roof over their heads and food in the fridge. Yeah, there are scholarships and hardship things out there, but come on. Those are for kids who have two poor parents, or one poor/one absent/deceased. My kids should be able to do some of these things and have them paid for by their parents. Especially when there's one parent who has some extra silver jingling around in his pockets.
I'm not naive, I know that divorce is rarely pleasant and almost never fair. But I think that, after the dust settles, it's not ok for one person to be sitting in a house with a pool, watching cable on a 50" flat screen t.v. with a cold beer in his hand and the other person basically homeless, penniless and raising their four kids with little more than the skin of her teeth and the help of some amazing family and friends.
When Big Daddy's Titanic started sinking, he ran straight for the lifeboats. And didn't look back to see how anyone else (aside from his partner in crime) was faring.
I think what's been done, and what continues to be done, is a reprehensible, ugly thing.
And I'm going to write about it, because at this point, that's all I can do.
Thank you for hanging in there with me while I sort out my crazies. I have a funny post brewing about facebook, romance and where I decided to draw the line about what I can and cannot take in a relationship.
Stay tuned ♥
I'm so freakin naive but I really don't understand how LEGALLY he can get away with it. Seriously... They know where he lives. They know how he gets paid...AND that he gets paid. How can he owe and not pay up? Again, totally understand that I am naive. I really am asking.
ReplyDeleteLaura, it's hard to understand, you're not naive. There's a judgment against him in our county, and he's been ordered by the court to pay. HOWEVER. It needs enforcement. My attorney hasn't been in touch since late August, when I met w/ her then she seemed pretty optimistic that we'd get face time w/ a judge in September. Well, obviously that's not happening.
ReplyDeleteApparently it will just take a judge looking at both of our situations, and a forensic accountant to really "look at his books" to get a little justice. But it takes attorneys doing the back and forth.
I'm a pro-bono client, which means I am dead last on their To Do list. And I'm not saying that in an Eeyore voice, I know that's just how it is. I'm grateful that they're helping me. I just know that it's going to be slow.
Love you Jenny. The times are changing, I can feel it.
ReplyDeleteI love you! You are amazing-- I grew up with a mom like you and a dad like Big Daddy and so I respect and adore you all the more.
ReplyDelete~Wesley-poo
I don't get it at all. I get pissed about it and I am not directly involved, I can not imagine the emotions you must deal with over this. Life isn't fair, but your kids will have plenty of opportunity to learn that from strangers and mere acquaintances...they shouldn't have to be "taught" by a man who is one of the 2 people on earth who is supposed to love and care for them more than anyone else.
ReplyDeleteLegally I am not sure how this goes on. There should be some sort of advocacy group that helps cases like yours. Unless BD is blowing the judge, I don't know how he gets away with this.
Ugh. I think maybe even though you are pro-bono you should check in. I know you probably feel weird doing it, but these attorneys are people and I would guess that they care. If you are sensitive in how you check in....it might raise their consciousness about it. You know how things get put on the back burner and once someone asks you about something it gets the fire burning again? Not because you didn't care but because someone else noticed and brought your attention to it? I don't know how you don't go postal.... Let me know when you need wine money. I have a bottle of red "Bitch" wine with your name all over it.
ReplyDeleteHug.
ReplyDeleteJenny, seriously, go here ... see what they can do:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dhs.state.mn.us/main/idcplg?IdcService=GET_DYNAMIC_CONVERSION&RevisionSelectionMethod=LatestReleased&dDocName=id_008807
Thanks for your support, friends! Laura, I sent her an email on Monday, so we'll see. And I think I did it in my best aw shucks Lutheran prose: "Gee ya, um I hate to bother ya..." dontcha know.
ReplyDeleteAnon: I'm sure I love you too.
Wesley, YOU are a big inspiration in my life. And I'm not saying that because you have blackmail photos of me. Really.
Anon: BD going down on a judge? Now that's a visual. I picture a judge sitting there with a flushed face and the soles of two giant Stride Rite shoes peeking out from the bottom of the big black robe. LOL.
Back at ya Authority.