2/13/14

The Target Plate Saga

The other night I went to Target with Molly and William. Molly needed candy for some Valentine thing at school  (she's a senior in high school...shouldn't this be done?) and I needed to find some fish shaped snack for the valentines I'd printed off some artsy fartsy crafty website. "Out of all the fish in the ocean, I'm glad we ended up in the same school" or something like that. I wanted to get Swedish fish and put a few in a little bag for each kid, but my own children talked me out of that. "Don't give them candy, Mom" Molly said with what sounded a little like incredulous condescension. "Yeah, Mom" William chimed in, "don't be that teacher."

I wondered, "What teacher? Are there weird teachers who give out candy? Why is that weird? I would have loved that teacher!" But I've come to the realization that my kids know what they're talking about so I found Goldfish crackers made out of graham with vanilla cupcake sprinkles. That'll do, Jenny, I said to myself. That'll do.

We were walking towards the checkouts when I stopped at a long clearance shelf full of fancy dinnerware and serving pieces by Target's fancy brand, THRESHOLD. I picked up a plate that was particularly pretty and said to the kids, "I love this plate! Look, they're only $3.98 each." I counted out how many pieces there were. Six dinner plates. Four salad plates. Three cute little bowls.

It was a lovely pattern. Very Anthropologie looking. Kind of. I imagined myself serving up dinner on these plates, the children looking down at the pattern being revealed with every morsel eaten and thinking to themselves, "Mom sure knows how to pick a plate, doesn't she?". They reminded me of the perfect dream kitchen that lives in my head, the one that's kind of like Meryl Streep's kitchen in "It's Complicated". The kitchen I'll build when I "make it", the one where the kids will bring their boyfriends and girlfriends and spouses and I'll be the charming, successful spinster mother-in-law who wears a lot of linen and tunics and can whip up a delicious dinner on the fly...

"Mom, we don't need new dishes." Back to planet Earth, via my daughter's voice of reason. She stood there, next to the cart, and then took the plate out of my hand. "Let's go" she said.

I picked up the plate from where she had replaced it on the shelf. Again, I counted how many pieces there were. The six plates was fine, I thought. There's five of us. That's really all we need. But the others were a problem. I'd have to hunt them down at different Targets. I began processing which Target would be the closest, which one would most likely have my pretty faux Anthro plates.

"Seriously Mom. Stop it. We have lots of plates." This time it was William.

So I listened to my kids. And we left, plateless.

I couldn't stop thinking about the plates. On my break the next day, I went home as I usually do. I work a split shift, so I have two hours free from 10-12 every day. I like to check in with Walter. Sometimes we go for a walk. Some days I finish the laundry I'd started that morning, sometimes I sit on my ass and play Ruzzle for a while (and seriously, folks, out of all of you only 2 play Ruzzle? PLEASE PLAY WITH ME!).

That day, I thought about plates. I thought about my pretty Target plates. I did the math ($3.98 x 6 = $24 ish something, what a deal!). I went online and scoured the Target website for my plates. They weren't there.

I decided that I was going to go get the plates. I wanted them! They were pretty! I started to worry that someone else had bought them. I needed those plates. I felt a wanting I haven't felt in a long time, an urgency.

I had one arm in my coat when I heard my daughter's voice echoing in my head:

"We don't need new plates."

I sighed. Took my arm out, set the coat down. I walked over to the tall cupboard where my haphazard collection of dinnerware resides.

The pretend Fiesta dishes I bought at a thrift store at least a decade ago, an entire set for $12.00. Aside from a couple of casualties, they've survived life with four kids and a mom who slams things to make a point. My wedding china is in there too, creamy ivory mixed in with the pale green, yellow and blue.

Molly is right. We don't need the pretty Targanthropologie dishes. I wanted them, yes. So bad. For some reason, it felt as if new dishes would make me feel better. Less insecure, less worried. When some women get stressed, they like to buy shoes and purses. I like kitchenware.

I talked myself down by imagining how much work it would involve, bringing new plates into this house. "You'd have to move some of these other plates" I said to myself. I imagined getting newspaper and wrapping the china back up and putting it in boxes. Ugh. "You're right" I said back to myself.

Some day, I'll get you, my pretty plates. And the little bowls, too. But we're good for now.




30 comments:

  1. Your self-control astounds me! I would have bought them and regretted it later...good for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't congratulate me just yet. I've been known to revisit Target clearance racks without my kids to keep me in line!

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  2. Kitchenware and bed linens ... my weaknesses :) Usually it's my own voice saying, 'you don't NEED new dishes'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's the old need vs. want thing. Gah. And YES the bed linens! I found a set I love at Ikea of all places.

      Thanks for reading, friend.

      Delete
  3. Good for you! Wow, you resisted.
    I too, have a kitchenware problem. I LOVE plates, dishes, bowls. Matching? even better. I tend to scour auctions for them, and currently have 3 different sets in my cupboard (our wedding china, 3 plates left, auction buffalo china, and some cheap but very durable generic ones), one in the basement, and oh yeah, my grandmothers china from Europe circa the 1940's.

    Someday, I will get rid of all these (but not my grandmothers) and get some funky cool square plates in an awesome color, with matching smaller plates, bowls, and maybe some mugs. Someday.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are kindred spirits. I also have an affinity for vintage Pyrex. Don't get me started!!

      And swooooon over square plates.

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  4. Smiled through this entire thing. Damn that Threshold and their irresitible kitchenware. Sometimes I run into walgreens for paper towels. They might be $2 more but they're infinitely less than the other crap I pick up along the way at Target. Meanwhile, I love your Meryl Streep kitchen fantasy. That is every woman's fantasy. Probably only Meryl Streep has anything remotely like that in real life. Loved the linen and tunics and every detail.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Nina :) And I get in trouble with the clearanced make up at Walgreens. God help me.

      Tunics are awesome!

      Thanks for reading.

      Delete
  5. My God woman. You don't even know how brilliant you are.

    ReplyDelete
  6. $24 to feel better every time you serve a meal? I hate to be an enabler, but that sounds like a bargain to me. And you don't have to pack up and store the wedding china - you can give it away!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ENABLER! Oh if it was as simple as just buying the plates. Then I'd become obsessed with finding all of the other pieces. I'm a closeted Type A person.

      But they were really pretty :)

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  7. I'm 45 and still don't have matching dinnerware...and now need to see these plates. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tracy they were really lovely. I've scoured the internets looking for a picture. And now thanks to my enabling commenters I may need to go back. "Just so I can get a picture for Tracy...."

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  8. I am still convinced that once I find the perfect plates my life will be complete and happiness will descend upon me like singing angels.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and me both, Kristen. Ceramic goodness for all!

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  9. I, too, am a kitchen wares hoarder. My cabinets overflow with bad judgement. I love discount/Goodwill finds the most. When my life is feeling out of control, buying something pretty for my kitchen soothes my soul...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAO@ "overflow with bad judgment". Sounds like my love life!

      I can spend HOURS at Goodwill and other thrift stores in the housewares areas alone. Vintage Pyrex and me: a love story.

      Thanks so much for reading!

      Delete
  10. congrats on resisting the urge - I know it's hard and I find myself falling for it way too often but one step forward is better than two backward I always say - I remember when I first started reading about consumerism very interesting and you should be proud of your daughter I've been trying to convert mine but so far no luck LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I have zero idea where my kids get their good sense. It must be from their father's side ;)

      Thank you so much for reading!

      Delete
  11. Glad you didn't ask me.. I would have said "Get the Damn Plates!" If they make you happy and something cheap would cheer you up during this northern votex winter.. GET THEM!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and about 59 of my friends! And now that it's sunny and springy out, I wish I had bought them. They were real purty.

      Thanks for reading, my friend.

      Delete
  12. Replies
    1. This is why I sometimes think I'm wired like a man. Shoes don't do it for me AT ALL. I wear running shoes and my ancient Uggs and then Keens and Fit Flops. That's it. And I do love me a well-made purse, but I don't drool over them.

      Organic vodka, though? Vintage martini shakers? Yes, please.

      Thanks for reading! Sorry this is so late. I see you commented on Valentine's Day, so I know I was super busy with love that day. BWAHAHAHA

      Delete
  13. I get that. When $ gets tight, I go for the kitchen stuff. It's usually fairly cheap and it tells me that I can still take care of everyone no matter what happens. I can still feed everyone. For me, I think that is when this need to buy kitchenware pops up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rheta, BINGO. I think it's all about proving to ourselves that no matter how tough things get, we are still able to provide for our families, and serve up the provisions on pretty things :)

      Thank you so much for reading!

      Delete
  14. I also have an affinity for housewares.
    Especially when I'm broke. Why is that, do you think?
    PS. I will no longer play you at Ruzzle. I have never beat you, and I'm tired of trying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See the comment above this. I think Rheta nailed it.

      And I'm sad that WWF doesn't work on my piece of shite phone. Because I'd totes play that.

      Delete
  15. Oh my goodness, I just cracked up out loud at this entire post! You are so funny and I can TOTALLY relate to that feeling of wanting that item that is on sale... even if you really don't need it (BUT IT WAS ON SALE!).

    Thanks for writing this blog, it is so entertaining!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SALE. Made you look!

      Thanks so much for reading, and for your kind words. Glad you're here.

      Delete

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