Now I have some guilt about the stuttering thing. Maybe I should just go ahead and out myself as a nervous stutterer...it's true. I stammer and trip over words when I'm nervous. Or tired. Plus I get an eye twitch, so you can see how attractive I must be in high-pressure situations.
Before I completely expose my insanity, I'd better get to the ten:
1. So I took Walter out for a walk today, you know, trying to be ACTIVE as part of my Weight Watchers routine. And about 5 minutes into the walk, it started sprinkling. Nothing awful, but of course today I was wearing a white t-shirt, with a pale pink bra. As we progressed, and as the rain kept falling, I began to silently freak out about my shirt becoming transparent. Because I live in Mayberry, RFD....everyone knows everything about everybody. And the last thing I want people to know is the size and color of my nipples. Thankfully, just about at the time I started to cross my arms and head home (crossing arms quite a feat when holding the leash of a 75 pound dog), the rain stopped. Nipple neuroses, over. Phew.
2. Speaking of being ACTIVE, I went to the gym yesterday. You know, to be ACTIVE. It's only been a couple of weeks since the last time I was there, but I felt really weird and exposed and well, fat. I go to the Y, so it's not like one of the meat market gyms, where tiny-assed yoga milfs do the elliptical next to buff marathon men, but still. I felt really gross. And the fact that every time I got up from a machine, I had to quickly wipe off the capital Y shaped sweat mark left by my sweaty butt and girly bits wasn't helping. I couldn't help but wonder what people were thinking as they saw me waddle from machine to machine, and then hauled ass on the treadmill. I wonder if it was anything like this:
Is she fat, or pregnant?
Wait..she's kind of old to be pregnant.
Her face is pretty purple..should I go ask if she needs help?
I have never seen a woman sweat like that before.
Who left the sweaty capital Y on the seat of this machine?
3. We are about two months into our life without cable television, and woooot! we're still alive. I decided to keep Hulu Plus, even though it is a glitchy mother effer. In fact, I tried to watch Teen Wolf on there the other night (the MTV show, not the movie...wait...do I sense some judging? IT'S GOOD!) and had to stop it because of the constant freezing. I found out that they have actual humans who answer their customer service emails, even the really bitchy ones, so that's a good thing.
4. Rest in Peace, Sherman Hemsley....this is one honky who loved you and your show back in the day.
Look at him with Weezy! This picture gets me a little teary. I remember, clear as day, looking up at my mom and asking her, "What is a honky?" while we were watching the Jeffersons. I was little, but man...I thought that show was great. I kind of wanted George and Louise Jefferson to adopt me. Like a reverse Webster or Diff'rent Strokes.
You don't hear a lot of honky these days, do you?
5. Here is my favorite Weight Watchers tip I've received yet, courtesy of my friend Tricia (who lost over 100 lbs. and is a BLAZING inspiration to me...seriously, she's amazing):
They are available at Costco (at least here in Minneapolis, I think Tricia said she can't get them in her state)..and let me tell you, I am in HEAVEN. If you're craving a brat but are watching fat and calories, you need to get these IN YOUR BELLY. I had one, and used half of a Brownberry whole wheat sandwich thin, for a total of 4 WW PointsPlus. For those of you not in the WW cult, that's pretty amazing. I'm full from one (even though there is a voice inside my head screaming PLEASE GRILL THE REST OF THEM AND PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH). Tricia gave me some great serving suggestions: cook, cut up and throw in with some pasta and veggies, put some in with eggs, put them on little pizzas...there are endless ways to get these things from the package to your mouth. Nutritional information here.
6. I'm re-watching the series "Heroes" on Netflix right now. And you know what's sad? I spent a good chunk of time fantasizing about how awesome it would be to have a super power that would enable me to remember things so I could kick some ass at trivia. Now that's sad. But wouldn't that be awesome? Never again would the name of the guy who played Zach on Saved by the Bell trip me up (Mark Paul Gosselaar, duh)
7. William and I saw Spiderman a few nights ago, and yes I loved it (I love me some Spidey). I was skeptical about Andrew Garfield playing Spidey but you know what? He did a great job. Something was bugging me during the movie though, and when I got home I took a look around the interweb and found this:
Dude looks just like Anthony Perkins (for my younger readers, damn you, he's the guy from Psycho). Weird, huh?
8. A couple of weeks ago, someone stole my bike, and William's bike from our driveway. Yes, it's my bad for not making sure they were in the garage, but they were about 20 feet from our front door. I filed a police report, and the lady cop (I like lady cops) told me the bikes could be covered on my renter's insurance. So I called my State Farm guy, and that's when I discovered that I don't have renter's insurance. Even though I called him and thought we had it set up ohh...around TWO YEARS AGO. So it turns out I'm paying almost $100 a month to insure my 2006 Ford Focus, and nothing else. Time to part ways...any suggestions for a new insurance company?
9. I'm thinking about firing up the grill right now and eating another sausage.
10. I can't not say anything about the shootings in Aurora. It makes me sick, and sad, and angry that it happened...my heart broke when I read the stories of the people who were killed. And now I wish the media would do the right thing and STOP reporting stories about the piece of crap who pulled the trigger. They need to not give him any attention, not give him any air time, not publish pictures of him in the paper or on websites. Give him a trial, lock him up and let prison justice prevail.
You know, on some level my heart breaks for him, and even more so for his parents. But what he did was awful and evil and he shouldn't be the top story or the featured story or the exclusive story...he shouldn't be part of the story. He needs to just go away so the families of the victims can mourn and so that the survivors can heal. And so everyone can move on. Somewhere out there is another whackadoo craving attention, any kind of attention. Let's stop giving it to this one.
Oh, and one more thing...I have submitted a very rough draft of what could become my book! My friend from high school, you know, THE AUTHOR wanted me to put together a few posts, like maybe 10 of them, and arrange them into little themed groups, like "The Beginning", "The Hens", "Circling The Drain". I think I ended up using about 70. He's reading it now, and so far, he says it's good. The next step is The Polishing Step, where someone corrects all of my hideous grammar errors (I realized, while compiling and organizing posts, I am addicted to the word "that". It could be a drinking game to play while you read this blog. Every time you see the word "that", take a sip). After that, it gets sent to a few people. And so on, and so on.
The ball is rolling, my friends!
And that's the ten (plus). If you are a fellow blogger and want to get in on the ten action, get it written and then link up at my bloggy friend Lin's page, right here.
Now, it's sausage time. And sadly, that's not a euphemism.