My friend Faith (yes, my former Wellness Coach...I was a terrible coachee!) recently posted a link to an article about women going gray (you can read it here). Interesting read, and very timely for me. You see, I am at a crossroads, my friends.
I found my first gray hair in my mid thirties. I can still recall seeing that little glint in my hair, reflected in the bathroom mirror. I don't remember if I had much, if any, reaction to seeing it...knowing me, I probably muttered "Awesome" or something as I yanked that sucker out. And yanking was how I dealt with the grays for the next few years.
You can guess how that went, right? One gray hair was quickly followed by another, until I had to choose between going bald and *gulp* going under the dye nozzle. Since this was during the time of my life when I had some disposable income, I chose to dye. And I did it in high style...went to the local Aveda salon where my cut/color appointments set me back $140 every six weeks (hey, I got cucumber water AND a hand massage, girls). But, like L'Oreal says, I was worth it. My stylist, Andrea, made my hair look so good. She created a color just for me, and it was like brownie batter infused with caramel.
Then I became poor. The salon appointments became a thing of the past, and I became a do-it-yourself colorist.
And it showed. Because, let's face it: box color is...well...box color. It's like using a Sharpie to color your hair...one dimensional, ya know?
Which brings us to today. I guess I am blessed with what the Colour Experts call "stubborn grays", which makes sense given that they sprout from a very obstinate skull. Color applied to my tresses only lasts a couple of weeks, sometimes less. It's getting to the point where the upkeep just isn't worth the trouble.
But here's the deal: I am struggling with the thought of going au naturale. Why? I know several women who have eschewed the coloring and look absolutely gorgeous with their silver 'dos. In fact, one of my very best homies, Danielle, has what I consider to be THE most beautiful head of hair, period. So why am I so hesitant to JUST PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN and walk away?
I think I'm scared that it's going to put me at an even bigger disadvantage in the dating game. I know, I know...I'm not even playing that game right now but who knows...I may change my mind in the near future. And I worry that with all the strikes already against me (big fatty, broke ass, a corral of "spirited" children), having gray hair may be another one.
I can hear a couple of you right this second: But Jenny!! If a man wouldn't want you for who you are, who cares about him?!?! I agree! Wholeheartedly. I guess my loony-tunes insecurities are still alive and well. Who knows, though...maybe coming clean with the world about who I really am, instead of using a chemically-enhanced cloak of color to pretend I'm something I'm not...maybe that's something I need to do. (was that the most painfully extended sentence or what? I think I have a Charley horse in my eye just from reading it).
Just for giggles, I Googled "Going gray" and read up on the subject. The good news is, that there is a lot of positiveness out there on the subject. But when you look at the real barometer of public opinion, the almighty comment sections, you get a little different picture. Based on my very unscientific observation, the public seems to be almost evenly divided on the subject of Gray Hair on Non-Granny types. Lots of men replied that gray hair ages a woman, washes her out, makes her look dowdy and matronly. Surprisingly, lots of women feel that way, too. The silver lining (ha)? Just about as many men reported that they think the gray/silver/white hair on women in their 30's and 40's is great, and dare I say, attractive.
I think it boils down to a few things: you absotively, posolutely have to have a great haircut. You need to take care of your skin, because with the lighter hair, the face seems to be almost highlighted. Make up needs to be adjusted, too. That's another thing my sweet Silver Senorita, Danielle, does with flair. Girl is naturally beautiful, and is gifted with the magic eyeshadow touch. And I also think (but I could be wrong here), that once you are a platinum person, your wardrobe colors may need some redoing.
Right now I am going on month nine without a haircut, and on any given day I look like the love child of Golda Meir and Michelle Duggar. So if I'm going to seriously entertain this little experiment, the first thing I'll need to do is get sheared.
In the meantime, though, I will be keeping my eyes open for more inspiring examples of women who have cut the color. And I'd love to hear your opinions, ladies. Are you Team Silver? Let me know!