So Halloween '11 has come and gone. This year I decided to break out of my bubble and actually wear a costume other than my standard devil horns (if anyone asked what I was I said, "an ex-wife" hardy har har). My awesome friend Danielle and I took a big cardboard box that once held a new toilet and transformed it into a giant box of wine. A Bota Box, to be precise. And it was AWESOME. I won first prize at the fun grown up costume party I went to on Saturday night. Thought I'd try it out again at the trivia costume party the next night but guess what? Boxed wine humor is completely lost on the under-30 crowd. They'll appreciate it someday.
The kicker of my costume, the crowning jewel, was the fact that we rigged up a pouch of actual Bota wine inside, and had the little spigot sticking out the front. So I was a FULLY FUNCTIONAL box of wine. Yes, I think I heard every single possible joke about "my box" "my spigot" and every variation of "dripping" and "sucking" double-entendres possible. But it was epic.
My kids are getting past the age where Halloween is sweet and fun. Charlie stayed home and did his pre-calculus homework, Molly stayed here and handed out candy, Henry dressed up as a cholo (I don't even know how to spell it, let alone know what it is. Apparently a Hispanic male who wears a flannel shirt, chinos and a bandana...we are so edgy here in Mayberry). William and a few of his friends decided to go as "Box Men" and wore big cardboard boxes. I went out trick or treating with the Box Men and about 6 houses in, I became "Mom carrying Box". But they had fun, and watching the massive Candy Trade afterwards was priceless. And yes, I did take everyone's Twizzlers. The sugar high, and the inevitable sugar crash, made this morning super fun (/sarcastic font).
So quickly, here is my Ten on Tuezday:
1. I am on week two without wheels. And going crazy. Got my estimate, and it's very reasonable. The only problem is, I can either pay for the new brakes/rotors/etc. that my truck needs, or feed my kids. So I have to wait until mid-month to get them fixed. I've considered asking my mom for help, but haven't yet. In the meantime, I've become the biggest ride-mooch my city has ever seen. Have I called you for a ride somewhere yet? No? Get ready.
2. Not being able to pay for a car repair is maddening. Even more maddening? The fact that my ex-husband, the man who is in contempt of court for not paying a huge amount of past due child support, and hasn't paid a dime in child support since 2008, somehow found the money to replace all the windows in his house. Now, on one hand, I'm super happy that he is able to keep Wife Version 2.0 and Spawn Version 1.0 warm and cozy. On the other hand? I want my money. Oh, and apparently he also found a way to get himself one of the brand spankin' new iPhones. This is the same man who slipped me $100 to help pay for school supplies/clothes for four children. Have you filled out your ballot for Father of the Year yet?
3. But..on a related note: I did get a fun email from my attorney. I won't go into details but I will say that it left me wondering if Big Daddy still enjoys extra garnish with his meals. Because he's going to get some of it.
4. Ok, I'll admit it. I'm loving Ted Danson on CSI. So much so that as I watched it one night, I typed into the notepad on my phone, "I want to jump those skinny gray bones".
6. Three things I have never purchased since I became a mom (almost 18 years ago): Hamburger Helper, white bread and Kool Aid. Not that there's anything wrong with those things, mind you. Have to slip in the Seinfeld references when I can, y'all.
7. You know why I love kids? Because they are awesome. There's this little boy at school who always comes in for a hug. And his clothes always smell FABULOUS. So I asked him what his mommy or daddy use for laundry and the kid comes back the NEXT day and says, "Tide detergent and Gain fabric softener!". He's in 3rd grade and he remembered that the crazy lady at school wanted to know what laundry detergent his mom used. That's pretty cool.
8. I'm starting to feel the holiday dread creep in.
9. Molly was confirmed at our church this weekend. It was a lovely ceremony, that almost didn't happen because she was with Big Daddy and churchy stuff isn't a priority for him. He has actually told the children, "I don't believe in God". Whatever. Thanks to some awesome friends (and especially thanks to my former BFF Big Red) Molly made it there. My friend Gillian and her hubby and their three sweet boys (Molly is their #1 babysitter) and Uncle Lorie all came to watch my baby girl get confirmed and me make my ugly cry face. Once again I was overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of my friends and their love.
10. What is it about a gray November day that makes me want to just sit in my fleece pajamas, wrap myself up in a big soft blanket and watch reruns of "Supernatural" and "Charmed"? Tuesday mornings are my free mornings...so I'd best get my pajama'd butt off the couch and get moving.
Have a beautiful Tuezday, my friends. And remember, when it comes to eating your children's Halloween candy, I have two words of advice: pace yourself.
One more thing: I just re-read this, and I'm coming across as a little more angry and bitter than usual. Normally, I just suck it up and delete the bitchy posts, but I'm letting them fly today. I'm going to blame it on my Twizzlers withdrawal. And the fact that I made babies with someone who puts himself before his kids.
One more one more thing: if you blog, and do a Ten on Tuesday (or Tuezday, even), go ahead and link up with the awesome Lin at Linny's Vault. She's good people!