I blame the fact that I've been up to my eyeballs in work, kids, "stuff".
Work...I'm always thankful for that. Being a sub is funny...the first few weeks of the school year you hear nothing. Crickets. Then, about 3 weeks in- BAM. A friend and I were talking about it and we decided it's due to the fact that for the first couple weeks of school, everything is like a new pair of shoes: clean, shiny, happy. Then you get them broken in, maybe spill stuff on them, perhaps step in some poo. The shine wears off, is what I'm saying. And that's when the substitutes get calls. Not that I don't appreciate it, believe me. I'm semi-excited for my next paycheck, which is saying something.
Kids: I'm still giddy with excitement over the terrific year all four of my angels are having. In particular, my William. He's always been the odd man out as far as my kids and schoolwork have gone. I mean, don't get me wrong, there have been many tears shed over some of the other kids' grades, believe me. But in those cases it wasn't a matter of them not understanding the work, it was them not wanting to DO the work. With William, everything always seemed to be more of a struggle. Especially spelling, reading, all of the Language Arts stuff. The other kids, I swear, have never had to study for a spelling test. Really. Not once. They inherited my geek super power of PERFECT SPELLING. Too bad it wasn't something a wee bit more useful but hey, I'll take it. And yes, I am living, breathing proof that those who get the geek super power of PERFECT SPELLING don't always have the sidekick power of PERFECT GRAMMAR. Pffffft.
But now? This year? William is shining. He's doing his homework, and even better? He GETS it! I think part of this can be explained by the teacher he has. The three older kids all had the same teacher, a sweet and lovely woman. But last year, at William's conference, his 5th grade teacher and I talked about maybe putting him in with the lone male 6th grade teacher. I wanted him to have some experience with a guy teacher, partly to get him ready for junior high where the males are more plentiful, and partly because I think it's a good idea for him to have a strong, positive guy role model in his life.
Whatever it is, it's working. But little dude has so much homework...his class is reading the book "Hatchet" by Gary Paulsen, so William and I have been reading it out loud, together, at home, at night, usually in my bed. Which makes me sleepy, which has been totally cutting into my night-time computer activities (and I'm sure people who are friends with me on facebook are totally missing my "witty" late night comments...).
Listen, I've been so busy I haven't been keeping up on my shows! That's the true indicator of my busyness. I did manage to watch American Horror Story on FX last Wednesday night though...yowza. I haven't felt such a creepy mixture of fear and total turned-on-ness like that in a long time. Fear because, HELLO...there are scary dead ginger twin boys, a ghost wearing a shiny latex gimp suit, a tiny scary old lady/kid basement-dwelling demon, and the whole thing has a very distinct "The Shining" vibe about it. The turned on part? Naked Dylan McDermott. Need I say more? I'm going to tune in again tonight and see if it holds up. Oh, and I can't forget two rocking ladies, Jessica Lange and Frances Conroy (the matriarch of the "Six Feet Under" family, love her!!). Jessica brings the funny, believe it or not.
I have renamed Cabin Boy. His new moniker is TeenMan. Because he is a teenager trapped in a 50-something's body. And before I say, "Well, aren't they all?" I'll stop myself because no, they aren't all that way. Just the ones I happen to find myself doing this bizarre, middle-aged mating dance with. He's asked me to come up to his cabin on Saturday. I would have gone up for the whole weekend but Friday night is devoted to my hens. So yes, Saturday will be a blur of shaving, Ped-egging my heels, tweezing in the magnifying mirror, driving and hopefully, fun. I'm going to make him watch Bridesmaids with me, and have requested that he has the makings for dirty martinis on hand. It's supposed to be a beautiful, perfect fall day in Wisconsin this weekend. I'm hoping it's just as nice inside. If you get what I mean, hardy-har-har. I'll keep you posted.
My book: can we talk? I had this beautiful, gauzy vision of what this fall was going to be like: kids in school, me having a few days during the week where I could just sit and whip out a book, one chapter at a time. In reality? I scrapped the first several chapters I'd started a while back, and now find myself staring at the blank screen with a vacant expression on my face. I'll get these bursts of inspiration, where actual paragraphs form in my head and I'll think to myself, "Self! Get that written down!" but then something will happen, like work or kids or "stuff" and whatever fabulous prose was in my head just up and disappears. I still have a few people to talk to, also, and will be getting on that SOON. Now I feel like there are two books I want to do: a collection of short stories, essays about what women have done when their husbands leave. And then the fiction one, which is slowly turning into more of a "Jenny Memoir", which is basically what this blog is. So yeah. I'm thinking it might be time for me to go back on Adderall.
And one more thing: lately I have been hankering to go back to school. I was all set to go back, right before Big Daddy stopped paying everything. Like, had applications ready to go, everything. But then, of course, I had to put everything on hold. And now the feeling is back again. Only this time I don't have any idea how I'll do it. I have some amazing friends who have gone back/are going back (yes, YOU, Amanda, you ROCK!) but it seems like none of them have the responsibilities that I do. I have to work, because I'm the sole breadwinner for my family. I don't know how on earth I can do it, how I can add one more thing to my already too-full plate. But I really, really want to go back. Where there's a will, there's a way, I suppose, but dammit. I really wish I had either a husband or a winning lottery ticket. That would make life so much easier. Well, the lottery ticket would.
On that note, I bid you a fond farewell. Time to go to work, and by work I swear I don't mean play "Words with Friends".
Yay for getting a sub job! Any extra money is welcome money, am I right? Also super glad your son's doing great this year.
ReplyDeleteYour date...I hope it goes well. I mean if anything, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll be a fun night away & if it happens, the roll in the hay won't be bad either ;)
Writing a book is never as easy as you think it's going to be. My husband has been writing all these short stories in hopes to get one to be one long story for about a year now. I had to break it to him the other night by telling him that his stories are probably better as short stories & maybe they should stay that way. Good luck with yours & don't stress on it :)
Oh, forgot to say...you're totally not alone in feeling that way about American Horror Story. I felt the same way, it was naughty & this little lady didnt mind it one bit haha. Although I did have to keep the lights on cause I was so freakin' scared of those ginger twins & that creepy troll looking person in the basement. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteJen...Thanks for the kudos. Two things you should know: The first is I have a full time 40-hour a week job (with a 40 minute commute), second is I'll be going it alone come March, but I refuse to quit. Even ONE class, just ONE is one more closer to your degree!! If anyone can do it, it's you! :)
ReplyDelete1. I always knew we were kindred spirits. Monroe elementary spelling bee champ right here. Grumpy's bar downtown used to have a grown-up spelling bee that I've always wanted to attend; I wonder if they still do? Hmmmm.....
ReplyDelete2. 6th grade was an awesome year acedemically for Donny as well. Of course this year he's missing 6 assignments already, and it's only, like, the 6th week of school.
3. I've been debating going to nursing school for several years now. Ugh, what to do, what to do?
4. Creepy ghoulish ginger twins? I think I need to tune in.
I can relate to many of your posts. As for going back to school it is possible; not easy but possible. I went back in 2009 after being laid off. Going back to work this year has made school that much harder. I don't wish for the husband but a lottery ticket...that would be NICE!
ReplyDeleteLin...I had no idea Rusty is a writer! That's pretty cool. Thanks for the crossed fingers about this weekend. Hopefully I can come home and write a post about the Wisconsin Sausage Fest. And did you see American Horror Story last night???? I seriously had to run out of the room twice. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, you amaze me. I didn't know you were working full time. I don't know how you can do it, really, I don't. And the alone in March thing? Lady, we need to talk. I'm going to message you on facebook. Love you, girl!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDanielle I would be ALL OVER a spelling bee! 4th grade spelling contest winner here. The word was "FEBRUARY".
ReplyDelete7th grade has been historically tough for all three of mine who have been through it. 8th grade though, was much better. Hope Donny gets his act together!
And I had no idea you were thinking about nursing!!!! We must force each other to do this.
Mommyof1, again, another mom who amazes me! I can't tell you how much I appreciate other single moms telling me that they did it. And yes, the Lottery. If only I could afford the tickets, ya know????? Thanks for reading, and for your sweet comment.
ReplyDeleteIf I win the lottery, I promise to pay for you to go back to school and not work. However, in the interim, my suggestion (based on several decades of experience & witness) is to give yourself 4 more years before you embark on such an all-consuming & important task. Your real job right now is being with your 4 teens and prepare them for their launch. You add school to an already busy work & family life & something GIVES. Usually not work or school cause you can get called out on that. Don't set yourself up for it. Go back to school at 49 & be whatever you wanna be for the last 15+ years of your career, but you'll never get the next 3 or 4 years back w/your kids. And, as much as kids are "proud" of parents doing "it all".....they often feel left out or feel their parent isn't there for them at the most important time of THEIR life. Develop a long-term plan, continue to cultivate your incredible writing skills & continue to connect with people who can give you the support you need to embrace life while caring so beautifully for your kids. 3-4 years flies fast. Next thing you know, Jenny, it'll all be about YOU. Patience!!! The best gift you can give your kids is not a degree or awesome job, but YOU being there for THEM, like you are now. You can do anything & will do everything.
ReplyDeleteAfter all my spelling bragging, I spelled "academically" incorrectly! LMAO!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous....wow! Thank you..I meant to respond to this right away but you know how that goes. What great advice you give. I hope I can live up to all of that. And make sure we keep in touch, just in case that lottery thing works out, mmkay?
ReplyDeleteAnd haha Danielle! That's a tricky one.
ReplyDelete