Search Keywords: Interesting stuff

Blogger has introduced a new "Stats" feature on our blogs. It took me a while to see it, but when I did, I became intrigued by the information it had to offer.

I really don't know how many people read this blog. I can't figure out what the difference is between page views, visits, etc. And honestly, I don't care. I love writing this thing and the handful of emails I get every month have made it clear that some of what I've written has been a comfort to other women going through situations similar to mine.

But...my inner Cliff Claven is so very intrigued by this little Stats thingie.

It shows how many people have read your blog on any given day, where they live (like the country, not their address...), what browser they're using, little nuggets of information like that. They also show the search keywords that people have used, which is my favorite part of the Stats, hands down.

I've mentioned before that my blog shares its name with a German porn movie. I've never seen it, but according to what my Stats tell me, there are plenty of fellas from Deutschland and beyond who want to find it. I can almost picture them, hunched over computer keyboards, a stein of beer on the desk, typing in:

Big horny hausfrau
Happy Hausfrau big butt anal
Hausfrau sexy
Hausfrau having sex at home when husband is at work

Those are just some of my favorites. I wish I could see their faces when they click on mine and instead of seeing a zaftig blond woman being serviced by plumbers and electricians, they find my neurotic ramblings about John McCain and Big Daddy.

Then there are the sad ones. At least a dozen people a day find me when they sit down at their computers and enter these phrases:

What to do when your husband leaves you
Husband left for another woman
What to tell my kids when husband leaves
Husband leaves after 40
Husband leaves and then comes back

Those break my heart. You know why? Because that was me not so long ago. I know what it feels like to have the very earth crumble beneath your feet and not have the slightest clue about what to do next. I remember how utterly alone I felt, how abandoned I felt. I wanted to know that I wasn't the only one in the world who'd been dealt this crappy hand, and more than that? I wanted to know that I would be ok.

So I think I need to figure out more things to say for those women who find themselves here. I realize that me giving advice on how to cope with your husband leaving is kind of like John Gosselin giving advice on how to manage a mid-life crisis...but bear with me.

I promise I won't show up wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt.