My Odd Taste in Men

Yes, that could be the beginning of a very, very bad joke...but it's not.

I was just sitting here thinking about how there are several men (of course all some sort of quasi-celebrity/newsworthy person, because I have no life outside of my kids and t.v.) whom I think are absolutely delectable and totally trou-dropping.

Steve Buscemi. I know! But oh.my.god. I even hear his freaky voice and I get all happy.

Aaron Brown. Remember him, on CNN? He won my heart right after 9/11. Sexy Aaron.

John Goodman. Even really fat, sweaty John Goodman.

The cab driving guy on Cash Cab (he's the reason I started thinking about all of this...). He makes smart funnies while he's driving and quizzing. Love him. And I love the beginning of the show when he's wearing what is quite possibly the hottest look ever on my fantasy men: an oversized turtleneck sweater and jeans. Check it out. Or not. I bet you watch the whole show...it's that good.

John Larroquette. Remember him? Slimy lawyer Dan on the old show Night Court. Love him. I stalk him on Twitter.

John McCain. But not the old, current version, the one who looks like a Muppet with a hand shoved in his head making his mouth move. The young war prisoner John McCain.

James Hetfield. Lead singer of Metallica. I can trace this one back to the Spring Break trip to Cancun, the one where I played Metallica's Black Album on my Sony Walkman as I sat on the beach and stared at the ocean. That is still my happy place, and when I go there, guess what I hear?

Brian Dennehy. I know, he's what, 75 now? But even when he keeled over in Tommy Boy I loved him. And don't get me started with Cocoon.

And so on and so forth.

Of course, since our world is twisted and backwards and apparently so am I, my girl crushes are 100% red blooded and stereotypical.

Ali Larter...Dear God, the vodka commercials she's in now are like 40 second snippets of porn. Even for me! I watched Heroes all the way through the lame year just because of her.

Christina Aguilara. I had a really naughty dream about her a zillion years ago, while I was still married. To this day I feel dirty and ashamed when I hear her songs.

Any random girl chef on Top Chef. I loved the androgynous one last year. I forgot her name already, but I felt sad and empty when she got the boot. This season I like Kelly.

I know, I really need to get a hobby. Or maybe get back in the love saddle again (please don't Google "love saddle". Trust me.).

Here's the Cash Cab fellow in that sweater just in case you need a little send off. Sweet dreams!


  1. Mick Jagger (my all-time fave ugly man dream boat)
    Christopher Walken (so sexy as a strung out heroin addict in Deer Hunter!)
    Paul Giamatti.

  2. Holy crap, how did I leave out Paul Giamatti and Christopher Walken???? Sideways is one of my top 5 favorite movies (the scene when he calls his ex-wife when he's hammered, best ever). And Christopher Walken had me at "we need more cowbell".

    We have similar tastes Danielle. Skeery.

  3. Ali Larter = whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues

    And I think she was playing a 17 year old or something which makes it stupidly dirty. I wouldn't call her one of my girl crushes exactly, but I still don't forget that scene...

    Steve Carrell is my current favorite for odd ball crushes. Ryan Reynolds for not so odd ball crushes (hello abs). And I have a girl crush on Dominique Swain.

  4. OMG..I do remember that whipped cream scene!

    Your mention of Steve Carrell brings up a "group crush" of mine: pretty much the entire cast of Anchorman. Sigh.

    And Ryan Reynolds, ***swoon***

  5. James Garner, Kevin Spacey and Nicholas Cage (since Valley Girl) :P

  6. !!!! JAMES GARNER !!!!! Rockford Files...he had it going ON Tracey. And Kevin Spacey?? Love him in the same way I love my beloved Tim Gunn.

    Nic Cage has never rang my bell for some reason. He must look like someone who done me wrong.

  7. Ok, I definitely need a hobby. I thought of two more oddball crushes I've fostered for years: Gene Hackman and David Cross. There. I think I may be done.

  8. I love the Cash Cab guy. He's nerdy/sexy.

    My odd ball crushes usually involve guys who have great voices and are smart, so I have a thing for Ira Glass and Scott Simon. And while I would never, ever, ever kick George Clooney out of bed for eating crackers, the guy who plays Franklin on True Blood is kind of crazily cute. James Frain (thank you, Google). Continuing down that same English path, Robson Green, from Wire In The Blood, and James Nesbitt from Jeckyl. My current girl crush is Rachel Maddow. Could I fly my liberal flag any higher? I think not...

  9. Bedhead, I adore you!

    Where have we seen Franklin before?? I know he's been in something recent. And he played the same kind of guy, only with less fang. I will Google it.

    You have good taste. I love me some Brit. And Rachel could SO be on Top Chef, agreed??

  10. Ah....Evan's orthodontist :)
    And speaking of girl crushes, when Laura piled onto our bed to watch the season premier of Mad Med with me, & Chris happened to be there too (not watching, mind you, just playing on his laptop)--he said something about how hot Joan was & how he'd do her if he weren't married....Laura & I looked at each other, & both said, uh, yeah, WE'D do her.
    LOL. Am I raising 'em right, or what?

  11. Oh, and I'm pretty sure the guy who plays Franklin was the Ice Truck Killer in Dexter.

  12. Beth have I ever told you that every single time I watch "The Middle" and Axl is on, I think of Evan????

    Take a pic of ortho guy, please. My kid's pediatrician is a short, swarthy guy. Father of like 5 or so, wear his yalmulke every day...he looks a lot like the younger Kratt brother from Kratt's Creatures (yes I did just age myself, so the hell what). Love him. I actually primp for the well child appointments.

    And I just googled "Ice Truck Killer" and it's not Franklin...although the similarity is frightening. Good call.

  13. Ok, well, I'm pretty sure he was...Cromwell? in the Tudors. (which was an awesome show, we're so bummed it's over)
    And Axl reminds me of Evan too...only he usually wears a shirt around the house with his boxers.

  14. Rachel could be on Top Bartender. That woman makes a mean drink.

    James Frain was in The Tudors. He's been in a lot of things - CSI, L&O in many iterations.

  15. James Frain was the librarian in Where the Heart is, about 100 years ago.


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