Home Alone- not.

So, according to the kids, Big Daddy has been making references to me not being home when the kids are home. They first brought it up just this past Sunday. I wasn't home when he brought them back after his weekend. He said something to the kids like, "If she doesn't get back soon you call me." Like I was out taking Ecstasy and humping 20 year olds. You know where I was?

My friend is out of town, and I've been taking care of her cats. I had stopped over there to make sure the cats had food and water. So yes, I guess filling a bowl with Kitty Chow and cleaning out a litter box is kind of wild and crazy, but I did make it home before sunrise.

When they told me about that one, I thought to myself, "Asshat." and let it go.

But a couple of them came back home from a night with Big Daddy just this evening. And they again said that he made some reference to me not being here, and him gallantly offering up his "fatherly services" so my poor neglected babies wouldn't sit here, shivering in the dark until mommy stumbles home from her shift at the Chubby Chaser's Booby Bar. Except, I was here. Jersey Shore Season Two premiered tonight, where the hell else would I be?

So I was talking to one of my kids about it, and asked their opinion. Kid said, "Maybe he's trying to make you sound like a bad parent so he feels better." I said, "Do you think I am a bad parent? Do you think I leave you guys alone a lot?" Kid thought a second and then said, "No. You're always here. You should get out more."

Then the kid said something about bad parenting, kind of a "pot, meet kettle" reference, which I won't post here because I don't want anyone getting their feelings hurt.

But I guess my child's reasoning makes sense. Maybe Big Daddy needs to make himself feel better about the job of parenting that he's done thus far. Maybe he's starting to feel some guilt about not helping out more in the whole area of support. Maybe the fact that he's trying to make baby number 5 (God help us, one and all) is nudging him to try and be a better dad. Who knows. Who cares?

If this little act of passive-aggressiveness helps clear his muddled conscience, makes him feel like he's the King Shit of Dadland, then he can have it. I can take it. I've dealt with worse.

I know, and more importantly, my kids know the truth. I'm always here. And I'll stay here as long as they need me.