Ten on Toosday Wednesday

Yes, I'm well aware that it's Wednesday.  I did this last night, but fell asleep before I finished it.  I think, technically, it may still be Tuesday in Asia.  Or one of the Poles....

So I still can't zip my winter coat without sucking in but I think I'll be ok.  I celebrated by eating rice with dinner last night and pad thai at Danielle's house today.  Tomorrow morning I'm going to attempt my first "before dawn" workout.  If I can get to the gym around 5 a.m., I'll be able to work out for about an hour and then get home in time to wake the angels for school.

Yes, I still wake them up like an enabling mother effer.  I figure they have the rest of their lives to greet each day with an electronic elbow to the ear, why not let their childhoods have at least a couple sweet mama memories?  Of course you'd think I would have learned my lesson with "Mr. No Wakey" Charlie, but I swear, the rest of them wake up after just one knock on the door or one nudge of the shoulder.  Ok, maybe I do have to say "Wakey wakey" a few times (and sometimes I add my favorite line from 'My Name Is Earl':  hands off snakey!) (have a mentioned how much therapy my kids are going to need in the future?).  Mother of the Year, folks.

So here be the 10:

1.  I could watch Sex and The City for hours and hours and hours and not get sick of it.  I don't know why I have such a deep love for that show, but I do.  I can't stand Miranda, can barely tolerate Carrie but damn if I don't sit and watch episodes that I can practically narrate myself.  Charlotte is my favorite, followed closely by Samantha.  It's fun to watch and see people who are BIG STARS now back in tiny little walk on roles.  David Duchovny, Vince Vaughn, Amy Sedaris, the silver fox from Mad Men (remember he wanted Carrie to pee on him?  Love that episode.).  I think this show is awesome.  But then again I'm watching Charmed as I write this so you may want to take my television opines with a grain of salt.

2.  Speaking of my friend Danielle, last night she accompanied me on a quest to open a new bank account.  Her bank was offering a special $150 sign up bonus so I went ahead and opened a new account.  Goodbye, Wells Fargo.  I've been banking with Wells Fargo since 1989 when they were still called Norwest.  I hate banking there, for several reasons, mainly because they are now charging a monthly service fee for "free checking" and also because they still perform the just-about-illegal, definitely shady practice of posting checks and withdrawals in the order of largest to smallest, not in the order they were received by the bank.  For someone like me, who has days when there are just mere vapors in my account, this can be bad.  So I am bidding them adieu.

And yes, I'm sure they're holding a special board meeting tonight, trying to figure out how to woo me to stay.

3.  Someone from Zantigos.com is reading my blog.  Is it you?  Come on, friend, show this sister some love!  I used to love me some Cheese Chilitos back in the day.  Hook a girl up.

4.  Speaking of me being a creepy stats reader, I noticed that one poor soul found my blog by typing this gem into Google:  "horny teenagers foikimg therselfs".  I figured his hands were probably pretty well-lubricated by that point, hence the sloppy keystrokes.  Pun intended.  I feel so violated when one of the pervs finds me.

5.  We've been looking through old photos lately, I found a couple of big boxes in the garage the other day and they've provided mucho entertainment.  I still find it incredibly painful to look at pics of the kids B.D. (before divorce).  It makes me want to jump into the picture and save them from the inevitable.  Luckily, there are also stacks of pictures of me and my posse from my late teens and twenties.  With these pics I want to climb in there and get my hands back on my 21 year old body.  Or some of the 20-something boys I was with...sigh.

6.  Guess what?  There are things I love, things I hate, and things that fill me with absolute indifference.  For instance, I love the new Twizzlers Ropes (they are like long Nibs, something I have been fantasizing about since my childhood.  I used to think, 'what if the Nib machine broke and they couldn't cut them?'  Thank you, Twizzlers.).  I hate anything that smells like, tastes like or even is the same shade as peaches.  Let's just say I had a harrowing experience with peach schnapps back in the day and leave it at that.  And I am completely indifferent about pancakes.  I won't go out of my way to get them, don't seek them out, but if you put a plate in front of me, yeah...I'll eat them.  Not with great passion, but I will leave a clean plate.

7.  Time for me to start surfing WebMd again.  This time I'm looking up "BRUISES EASILY" and no, I'm not talking about my heart.  Walter, who I am once again calling "Long Clawed Van Damme" got me with his Wolverine claws right on the tender, fleshy part of my inner thigh.  And no, it's not as racy as it sounds.  Walter will get right up in your grill if he needs something, like food or water or attention, and rake you with those Freddy Krueger talons.  He did that a couple of days ago and I now have two GIANT bruises there.  Each roughly the size and shape of a big t.v. remote (you like how I can bring everything back to either t.v. or food?  My first comparison was going to be 'the size and shape of a banana').  If I were a kid it would most definitely be the time when concerned people started calling CPS.  But what it's really time for is a claw trimming, which Walter and I both look forward to with the same giddy anticipation.

8.  A friend mentioned seasonal employment to me this weekend.  And I'm thinking about it.  If I could find a temporary, part time gig where I didn't have to dress up and didn't have to deal with the public I'd totally do it.  Because I don't have "office worthy" clothes and I despise interacting with people and their money/and or/food.  I worked in customer service, in one way or another, from the time I was 16 years old (Target cashier) through college and my early twenties (bakery girl, make up counter, flight attendant) and then as a young mother (Once Upon a Child).  I used to have a decent filter in place when it came to keeping my mouth shut while someone gave me a piece of their mind, but age and being a mom have worn that filter down to a transparent nub.  I'd give myself a week before I told someone to stick their expired coupon right up their ass.

9.  When did time start flying by so quickly?  Is this an age thing, or are our lives so stuffed and rushed and busy that time really is going faster?

10.  We had a mayoral race this past week here in my enchanted little city, and while it remained civil and polite, it was very interesting to see how it made fine lines in the sand between some of my friends.  Our incumbent mayor has been in the seat for a decade and has never had any real competition.  This time she did.  I am not one who discusses politics in a public forum, and really didn't talk about this one with my friends, either.  But this whole thing kind of reminded me, in a very, very general, broad way, of the fantastic movie "Wag The Dog".  Let me be clear, there was absolutely no sex scandal, no fake war, but to see the political machine in motion was very, very intriguing.  The big politico machines have gears and wheels that spin even at this seemingly innocuous level.  Congratulations to our new Mayor, and a big thank you to the one on her way out.

And that's it.  I'm still going to link up to the fabulous Linny's Vault, even though I'm a day late I hope she'll forgive me.

Now you all go out there and have a great day, you hear?