That said, I am trying with all my might to not think about the negative shit in my life. I'm trying to rise above it, to be all "turn the other cheek". To quote my good friend Uncle Lorie, I'm "putting my blinders on". Lots of kids grow up with fathers who are less than ideal, and they turn out just fine. I'm sure the prisons in our great country are also filled to the brim with people suffering from Daddy issues, but I firmly believe that having one parent who gives a rat's ass about you can neutralize most ill-effects of having one who doesn't.
I dropped William off at a baseball practice tonight, and who do I see waddling up the sidewalk about a block ahead? Big Daddy and a very wide Secretary. With their Ewok dogs and bags of take-out from the posh grocery store not too far away (and yes I said posh, my local friends may be giggling at this but seriously...Byerly's is out of my league these days. If you go there, say hi for me. I miss having my groceries walked out for me). I thought to myself, "Self, it's awesome that they are able to do that, isn't it?". I thought to myself, "Self, how ironic that this wife is a fat pregnant lady too. I wonder if he gives her shit for being so big, like he did with me?". I thought to myself, "Self...it's a damn shame that he couldn't be bothered to pick up his 10 year old son this past weekend, or answer his daughter's frantic texts and calls." I once again found myself wishing that I had laser beam eyes. I felt bad for a minute, and then....
And then the music started. On the way to baseball, William was rummaging through my haphazard CD collection I keep in the truck. He pulled one out and said, "I know you like this one, mama." As I drove away from the park, drove away from that stupid, pathetic man and his even more stupid wife, I cranked that CD and sang along. While I was singing along, of course terribly off key and for sure screwing up lyrics left and right, I thought to myself, "Self..there's a lot of things in this world that are bad. But there are also a lot of things that are good. This music. Spring. Sleeping with windows open. Self, you focus on that stuff and let Big Daddy and His Bloated Bride fade away. Soon they'll be up to their horns in dirty diapers, crying and lochia. Let it be."
The bad feelings drifted away and I started thinking. Thinking about things I lurve. And you know what? I lurve a lot of things.
Macy Gray. Yep, she sounds a little like a slurring, choking person but I can put in her CD "On How Life Is" and I'm singing like a fool immediately. In my very detailed, kind of creepy fantasy world, I have a Showtime series based on my life and the opening credits roll with her song "Finally Made Me Happy" playing as background music. In my very detailed, kind of creepy fantasy world, Macy and I are also super good friends.
Brownies. Old school, box mix. The edges first, then the middle pieces. Heaven on earth.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It never, ever fails to make me GUFFAW. Out loud. GOL. Every single time I watch it..even repeats. I am kind of hoping for a sex dream featuring Charlie. Don't ask me why...just like weeping Virgin Mary statues, this is one of those things that simply cannot be explained.
Losing weight. Typing that just reminded me that I haven't done a Wellness Post in a while...you'd think the thousands of emails demanding another one would have been reminder enough, right? But here's the deal: I think Wellness has become part of my everyday life. I'm losing weight, slowly but surely. Things that were too tight a few months ago are now too big. People are noticing a difference...not everyone, but those who haven't seen me for a while can see it. More importantly? I can see it. I now make better choices. I'm exercising every day...it's become a habit. My BFF's husband surprised her with the news that they'd be going to Puerto Rico in May for a big company shindig. She's been on South Beach for almost three weeks now. She quit drinking and we walk about 4 miles a day together. Sometimes more. I have begun to look forward to these walks the way I used to look forward to Fridays. They are almost better than brownies.
Tina Fey. My friend loaned me her copy of Bossypants. I am drawing it out, savoring it, giving myself just a nibble of it here and there because I NEVER WANT TO GET TO THE END. I watch 30 Rock and damn if I don't find myself relating to Liz Lemon a little bit every single time. I rarely covet anything anymore, but secretly, just between you and me? I find myself wishing that I had 1/1oth of her talent.
AMC. If Bravo and I were dating, AMC would be the dirty bad boy trying to get me to come make out with him in the shadows. And I'm going. They've always had Mad Men. Then they pulled out Walking Dead. And now...The Killing. Until the new Top Chef comes on, it's me and my burnout boyfriend AMC. Dry humping and sharing smokes.
eBay. I'm not selling at the rate I used to, but sales still trickle in. And if they didn't? I'd be sunk. Plus, I just got my 2010 taxes done, and I can't begin to tell you what a huge difference it makes, being able to deduct everything from laundry detergent to all utilities to mileage on my truck. It's not the same eBay I fell in love with all those years ago, but it's still a good thing.
Trivia night at TGIFriday's. I haven't written anything about this one, but my friend Danielle and her hubby
There are so many more things that I lurve, but one of the things I lurve best is calling me right now...
Getting into my bed with my dog, setting the alarm clock, making sure I have my phone (why? why, Jenny??) and a big glass of water nearby. Snuggling in under the covers and reading until I can't keep my eyes open for another second.
I hope it goes without saying that there are a few things I love that didn't get mentioned here: my kids, my family, my kick ass friends....life itself. Those things are a given for most of us. But sometimes we need to dig around and find the little things that make us happy, make us smile. Help us forget about the icky things. Those are the things I lurve.
What do you lurve? What keeps you going on craptastic days?
I'd really lurve to hear all about them.
I lurve "Brothers & Sisters." I'm only on Season Four, but the guilty pleasure of dramarific lives that make me cry & family dynamics that make me laugh. I sneak in an episode or two whenever I can!
ReplyDeleteI also lurve snuggling in my bed w/ my lovely & my smelly dog & no agenda.
Jenny - I am super good at trivia. In fact, NO ONE will play Trivial Pursuit against me. Just sayin'...in case you need any trivial assistance...
ReplyDeleteFour things:
ReplyDelete1. I know AMC is a distant second to Bravo for you, but I urge you (and everyone else reading this!) to pick up on Breaking Bad where you left off. Better yet, Netflix season one and start over, and watch until you've got seasons two and three down. It's a very fast watch, and if I know you, you will have a crush on Bryan Cranston soon thereafter. That is unless you already do. Season 4 starts in July. Charlie and I are obsessed, if you haven't caught on to that yet.
2. Trivia. Poor Tyler is probably regretting accepting our friendship on Facebook by now. And having two of the funniest people I know (you and Emily, in case you were wondering) together at the same table pondering over magicians and horse-faced actresses is priceless and keeps me going for days.
3. Brownies. Here's some trivia for you: Chris Erickson makes the best brownies known to man. I kid you not. Every once in a while she bakes a pan and sends it our way. And did you know she and Charlie briefly dated when they were sophomores in high school, pre-Dwight? Strange that we now live across the street from each other and our daughters are bff's. I love me some Chris. Sometimes I wonder why Charlie didn't pursue her a little harder, if not for the brownies alone.
4. Macy Gray. When Lucy was an infant, Charlotte was 2 and three quarters, and Donny was 21 months, on a stressful, rainy afternoon, I was driving somewhere with all three of them, on the verge of tears in a post-partum fog. Macy Gray's "I Try" was on the radio playing in the background, and Charlotte must've been listening intently from the back seat. After the song finished playing, she says, "Mom, was that a muppet singing, and what is she trying to do, anyway?" It was one of those kid moments that pull you out of whatever funk you're in, and make everything seem o.k., at least for a second. I've had a soft spot for Macy Gray ever since.
Brothers and Sisters...is that the one with Sally Field? I think I watched it when it first started, and loved it. Now I'll have to catch up! Just added seasons 1-4 on instant play Netflix!!
ReplyDeleteDanielle, I have had a crush on Bryan Cranston since Malcom in the Middle. I've always wanted a Hal.
And verrrry interesting about Chris, Charlie and the brownies! Let me know the next time she blesses you with a pan.
Your Macy story made me laugh out loud. I love Charlotte.
And Jen????? Please come on Thursday!!!
ReplyDeleteCan't think of anything right now.. maybe tomorrow. Even the Anderson's Chocolate Chip cookies aren't doing it. Tina Fay, I can't concentrate. Forget a movie and Housewives. I am hoping tomorrow I can think of things i Lurve. Oh that's right .. You! I lurve you!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Kelly
Kelly, you have more on your plate right now than anyone I know. This is when you sit back and let the things you love come to you. I wish I was closer to you...know that you, Emily, Doc and Andy are always, always in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteLove you too ♥
Hot yoga, running the lakes, and dates. No, not with boys. The kind you eat. I lurve them. Can't get enough.
ReplyDelete