I Missed A Day (and I don't like it). Ten on Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

Told you this every day thing was hard.  I went to a show at the Guthrie Tuesday night (it was AMAZING, by the way, about the end of Judy Garland's rainbow...more later) and when I got home a little past 10, the angels were up and needed me.  I fell asleep next to William (yes, we will have a therapy session just for this but whatever).  Wednesday night I oversaw my confirmation class at their turn with Feed My Starving Children and again fell asleep in a place other than my bed (this time is was the couch).  I'm pulling the Mom card excuse, folks.  That's all I got.

Now on to the Ten:

1.  I'm convinced that me + running water = instant need for a child to have a conversation with me.  Seriously.  Shower, dishes, washing machine, flushing toilet...for some reason, put me in the same room with any of the above factors and there will be a child in the vicinity who all of a sudden has a desperate need to chat.  I think I could go to Niagara Falls, all by my lonesome, not telling anyone where I was headed, and as I stood on one of the observation platforms, the mist of the falls peppering my face, I'd hear a faint voice yelling "MOM?  MOM?  WHERIOUSFDJKSSL??" (because that's what it sounds like when a kid is yelling to you from another room/behind a closed door when there's water running).

2.  Speaking of kids, I'm trying to convince one of mine to go into plastic surgery...not only for my benefit but because someday, in the not-too-distant future, a million of these hipster guys are going to wake up with regret:

Can you say "earlobe rejuvenation"?

3. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has a pre-wash cycle like this in their house?

I'll understand if none of you ever want to eat over.

4.  I had lunch today with two of my dearest friends from my childhood/teen years.  We laughed, I cried a tiny bit (oh what a SHOCK), we laughed some more.  If I can teach my kids anything, I hope it's this:  I want them to hang on to their friends, cultivate those friendships and never let them wither.  I have a few regrets in life, one of the biggest is allowing some of my friendships to go untended.  In the words of my beloved Winnebago Man, "No more!". 

5.  New show that I'm liking so far:  Alcatraz (Fox, Mondays 9/8 central).  It's a little X-Files, a little CSI.  It's just hard to watch Jorge Garcia sometimes...he's so big that my pancreas aches a little when he's onscreen.

6.  When I started this post it was Wednesday, I swear.  Now I'm two days in the hole for the NaMoBloPo thing.  Bad blogger. 

7.  Watching the play "End of the Rainbow" on Tuesday (the show about Judy Garland) I was struck by two things:  the guy playing Judy's last fiancee' looked a lot different from my seat than he does in real life (because I thought he was kind of a beefy, Ben Affleck-y looking guy but when I got home and stalked Googled him he was more of a Joseph Gordon-Levitt-y guy).  But he was on Guiding Light.  Also, it made me miss having a good gay guy friend.  I have had some great ones over the years, but that sparkly light has been missing from my life since the Big Daddy era.  Where does one go to find a new gay guy friend?  I spend too much time at Target.  Time to shake things up.

8.  So, today on facebook I'm seeing a lot memorials for a guy from my high school class who died in his twenties (heart attack, I think?).  He was an "all around" good guy, I guess, but my clearest memory of him is the time he said a slew of unspeakably cruel things to me in the cafeteria, in front of a crowd.  I went home that day and cried my eyes out.  That day?  I hated him.  When I heard of his passing, I regretted the hate and only wished him peace.  In the end, he taught me that our words will outlive us.  Something to think about.

9.  Smokers?  I see you, driving and smoking and I have two things to say:  Firstly, opening your window a little bit and blowing the smoke through the crack is not helping.  You still smell like a giant cigarette butt when you arrive at your destination.  Secondly, use the ashtray in your car, or keep an ash receptacle of some sort in there.  I have never been able to understand the concept of "I'll just throw this out on the road when I'm done with it." 

10.  I've been getting small spousal maintenance (the new term for alimony) checks from Big Daddy for a while...believe me, nothing near what he needs to be paying, in fact, they are spent well before I get my claws on them (and conveniently, since they are called 'spousal maintenance' payments, I get taxed...even though they are spent entirely on 'maintaining' my kids).  But I'm finding it funny and weird that the last few checks have been from Secretary.  She has pretty checks.  Sometimes I write "THANK YOU ♥ !!" in the memo section, because I'm mature like that.  The whole thing has me wondering exactly what's up with this.  The Encyclopedia Brown in me is thinking that he's closed his checking account in anticipation of some legal action on my part.  And that makes the Evil Queen in me laugh and rub my hands together in a villainous way.  Because you can go ahead and bury your money in mason jars in the backyard, sir...but just like Debbie Harry said, one way or another...I'm gonna find ya. 

And with that I'm going to close before Friday gets here.  Have a good day, people. 


  1. 1. So true.
    2. Who's the idiot that started this disgusting trend? I'd like to talk his ear off! Oh, wait....
    3. We had pork ribs for dinner last night. Neville hovered next to the dishwasher while I was loading, just waiting for a lick.
    7. Stick around me long enough, and my supreme hag skillz will rub off on you eventually. I have more gay boyfriends than I know what to do with. Scratch that- you can never have enough!

    1. I believe some tribespeople somewhere started it. I can't recall when I first started seeing people in Uptown with the ear things. Personally? It looks like it HURTS.

      LOVED Neville's picture! I actually tell Walter, "Dude, you don't have to do that..don't cheapen yourself." It's like me licking a wine bottle that's empty.

      Share some of your gays! Bring a few to trivia.

  2. 1. Haha, now that I think about it I have a lot of my conversations with my mom while she's washing dishes or in the bathroom. I it might be because I know she's not gonna run :)
    2. What an amazing idea! It's true there are going to be TONS needing fixing...my husband included. His ears aren't that stretched but they're pretty big.
    3. At least you'll know they're be super clean.
    4. Now I'm sad because I have zero childhood friends :(
    5. He'll forever be Hurley from LOST to me.
    7. I want a gay friend like Cameron from 'Modern Family'.
    9. Gross.
    10. I would totally write the same thing in the memo section. That's hilarious.

    1. Lin I hope you don't get offended but I am dying over Rusty having the ear stretcher things! For some reason, whenever you write about him, I picture this almost lumberjack type guy. With a Yukon Cornelius beard. And I hope I didn't offend...I'm totally serious about the ear fixing thing. I think it will really be in demand!

      If you do get Cameron, can we share? I just about soiled myself when I found out he's straight IRL. Talk about great acting.

  3. OMG......my dogs totally do that!!!! Joe yells....I just think..."hey, they are getting whatever the dishwasher wont"

    I have a good friend Ive let slip by the wayside...and now my good friend guilt is creeping in....

    I LOVE that you write Thank you in the Memos...priceless :p

    1. Awww Kelly, I didn't mean to guilt you out. But man, did I feel it after that lunch. We just get so freaking busy in our day to day lives...keeping in touch takes effort and I'm the first to raise my hand and admit that I let friendships fall by the wayside when I was up to my eyeballs in "life". I wish I hadn't done that. But the only thing we can do now is reach out and hope they're still there!


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