You can lead a horticulture...but you can't make her drink!

My apologies to the late, great, amazing Dorothy Parker. I totally ripped off one of her quotes for the title of this post. Also for the "tag line" at the top of my blog. Sorry, Dot. There are times when you're asked "If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" and part of me always wants to answer, "MY GRANDPARENTS" or "JESUS CHRIST" or maybe even "ALEC BALDWIN" but I always say, "Dorothy Parker". Have you ever read anything she's written? If not, you should. Soon.

And "you can't make her drink"? Please.

So...a while ago, someone in the blogoshpere posted a link to a little thing that the major THEATRE (if you spell it that way, it's so much more SERIOUS. If you say it with a haughty British accent, even more so.) here in Minneapolis was doing. "Bloggers Night at The Guthrie" it was called, and for whatever reason I decided to throw my hat blog into the ring.

Now, let me set the scene: Am I regular theater-goer? Noooooo. Please! The shows I see usually involve a sweaty band/orchestra/choir instructor, metal folding chairs and small programs that are printed on pastel paper and can easily be made into a MacGyver fan because the gym/cafeteria we're always in is always stifling.

Have I ever been to the theater? Yes! I used to love going to plays. Back in my more bohemian days, it was fun to go see a show at one of the small, hip theaters here in town. I even went to a few at the Guthrie.

Do I like going to the theater? Absolutely. I am one of those flighty souls who gets absolutely lost in whatever I'm watching, whether it be a play on a stage, a brainless show on t.v. or my dog twitching in his sleep. I love to watch everything in a play: the acting, the scenery, the props, the lighting, the people in the audience. I love getting sucked into the story, like you do with a good dream; startled when the lights come on and feeling a tiny bit like you do when you wake from a quick cat-nap (foggy and dazed..or maybe that's just me).

I love going out for dinner or drinks or ice cream afterwards, and discussing the whole thing. "Were you crying at that one scene? Because I was about to." "Did you see the cool table in that cottage??" "Could that one village guy, the one with the green vest, have been any hotter?". I love it.

The last play I went to was on a date, with the guy I dubbed "Sad Counselor". It was actually a pretty good one, I can't remember many details but sadly, I do remember that he was wearing scratchy wool pants and I also remember making out with him, in his car, in a Timberlodge Steakhouse parking lot. What's wrong with me?

Obviously I haven't been to one in a long time. So I was beyond giddy when I found out that I'd been selected to be part of the Guthrie's Bloggers Night. They are sending local bloggers out to different shows throughout the season, and in return, we bloggers are going to tell the world about our experiences.

My first night out is next week. I'm going to see "A Burial in Thebes" which is an adaptation of Sophocles' "Antigone". Antigone is actually a character I am familiar with. Her family tree makes mine look like one forged from puppy breath and rainbows. Which is my way of saying, chick is tragic. I'm sure the play will be a tragedy, but I'm interested to see what kind of adaptations they make to try and modernize this ancient, but mesmerizing, tale.

I am super thrilled to have been chosen for this event, and I look forward to both seeing the play, and then gabbing about it here. Now the panic over what to wear to the THEATRE is setting in, though. Time to pore through my burka collection and see what I can deem as culturally worthy. I'm guessing I can't wear an Angry Birds hoodie or a Columbia fleece jacket.

On a pathetic note, I have no Cabin Boy news to share. We did hang out and watch football the other day, but it was a Kid Day and therefore nothing above a G-rating happened. I'm not getting a good vibe from this one and to be honest with all 8 of you, I'm thinking this may end up just being an occasional cabin hook up. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but that old stupid naive optimism always sneaks up on me. How many more times do I have to club it like I'm playing Whack-A-Mole before it just stops??

Oooh! And I am also super excited to announce that I'm embarking on yet another fitness quest. I used to run, back in the day. Not like marathon running or anything like that, but I would go for jogs. I loved it, and haven't done it in YEARS. With my new schedule the way it is, I'm finding it harder to get to the gym with any regularity so I figured, "Hey...there are awesome trails right outside your front door, you have a sweet yellow dog who will go with you..why don't you start running again?".

And so I did. Yesterday I did my first real "run". And by "run" I mean walk fast, run for intervals, walk again, repeat, etc. It felt AWESOME and boy did I miss those endorphins. Plus I think Walter was ecstatic about having his Big Mama actually keeping pace with him for once. Now if I could just figure out how to stop him from pooping 3 or 4 times every time we head out.

Of course at this moment I am in heavy fleece pajamas, sniffling and chilled with what I presume is my first cold of the season (having 600 sweet, hacking, runny nosed kids hug you every day will sometimes give you a little more than warm fuzzies). But I'm still going to go out there and do it all over again before I have to be at work today. Maybe. I still have my period so I do worry about bear attacks. We'll see.

So have a super Friday my people. I am now going to go stalk my followed blogs and if Lin has done her Fill in the Blank Friday I may have to do the same.


  1. You should wear the Angry Birds sweatshirt to the play. Make them wonder.

  2. Funny I'm just reading this right now; 12:38 pm on Sunday night, and "Horticulture" was the mystery music theme at Trivia tonight.

  3. Woot for going to a play! I haven't been to one in years. My husband & I have gotten ubber boring lately...less sophisticated if you will haha. Sorry to hear about your G-rating with the fella but hey if a hook up is all it's good for & you're game, go for it hon!

    Also, your new sense of motivation to be healthy has me thinking I should get my ass off the couch & hit the pavement for a brisk walk, at least ;)

  4. Whitney I pretty much always make people wonder:

    "I wonder if she's pregnant? No...she's too old."

    "I wonder if she slept in those clothes?"

    "I wonder who that is that smells like last night's wine and remorse?"

  5. Danielle..ha! I do like the word horticulture. Mayhap it's time to start a post about "Words I love" on facebook.

  6. Umm yeah Lin, I haven't been out since that day. I was so sick! Worst cold I've had in a long time. But feeling better today so we'll see.


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