Well, the treadmill is still in pieces. Apparently now that the Manchild and his BFF are both working, mom waving $20 bills under their noses didn't exactly put the get up and go into overdrive.
I may have to borrow a husband for this one.
But we did accomplish the relaxing. It took a few mornings but I was finally able to sleep past 8 a.m. and it was spectacular. The kids enjoyed sleeping in as well...I let Charlie sleep until 2:00 today just because it was the last day of break and just because you're only 16 years old once.
I also kept my New Year's pledge to think about what I shovel into my piehole, and on a few occasions it actually prevented me from going on a mini-binge. Like this afternoon. A few nights ago I made my famous Curry Chicken. It's one of a small handful of things I can actually cook that taste good. The kids love it, and we have it a few times a month.
So I made it last week. And as usual, there was a bunch left over (I make extra for lunches/quick dinners). This afternoon, I was ready for my mid-day feeding and was rummaging through the fridge. There was the curry chicken, its creamy curry delightfulness practically begging me to eat it. And right next to it, the large container of Jasmine rice that makes the perfect bedfellow to my curry chicken.
I took the containers out of the fridge, and told myself, "Hey, I've been good. I've been walking! I haven't had any candy for three days!!" as I gently scooped the curry onto a bed of rice. "I didn't even try a bite of this when I made it, and the kids said it was one of the best ones ever." And then, something stopped me.
I looked at the bowl in front of me, and I stopped spooning the curry out of the container. From out of nowhere, a little voice said, "No. No you don't, fatty. Put that back, right this second. See that big container of mixed greens? Get that out, cut up that cucumber, halve that avocado and dice that sucker up, julienne some of those carrots and mix 'em all up. And just because you've been a good girl, add a small scoop of that cottage cheese on top. Pour a little bit of that delicious Paul Newman dressing on it and inhale. Just put the curry back in the fridge before you do something you'll regret."
And I did it. I made my favorite salad and ate it and felt zero self-loathing. So yay for me.
(P.S...if you want the curry recipe drop me a line. It's the one dinner that Secretary can't copy and I will die before I let her get it. The kids tell me that she tries and tries but it always tastes like [in their words] "dookie". So suck it, Secretary. Keep on trying. YOU'LL NEVER GET IT RIGHT.)
We saw a movie at the Cinema Grill (a fun place that shows second-run movies, and you GET TO EAT while you watch them. Eat like real food..burgers, salads, etc. They even have Surly beer!). We saw "Megamind" and it was actually pretty damn funny.
When I take the kids to see a "kid" movie, I walk in with the very lowest of expectations: Entertain my angels, maybe have a grown up joke or two stuck in there for my amusement, and please don't suck. Megamind exceeded these expectations. The only remotely negative thing about it was it reinforced my belief that Jonah Hill isn't a sweet, chubby sidekick, but rather a creepy and slightly ominous being. Oh, and I liked the animated Tina Fey's hair. Yes, I actually thought to myself, "I wonder if I can get a picture of that hair online and bring it in somewhere....". Just one more little nudge that maybe I am operating with a few bricks short of a full load. Whatever a full load may be.
So we had fun doing that. We had sleepovers, playdates, lots of plain old downtime, and it was fabulous.
I only went balls-out apeshit once. And it was for good reason.
The one and only thing William wanted for Christmas this year was a snake. He has wanted one for over two years now and dammit, I'm starting to cave. One of my "elves" asked what he wanted and I suggested some sort of "snake starter" things. And she found him a Snake Starter Kit.
Relax, there is no snake yet. I keep telling him we must research this endeavor, and research it well. Maybe research it for so long that he'll settle for a Hermit crab or small lizard.
But I digress. So in this Kit (which he was ecstatic to open, by the way), there was a spray bottle. Apparently you need to keep the snakes moist. Gaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So there is this innocent, run-of-the-mill spray bottle.
On New Year's Eve day, William decided that it would be fun to fill up the bottle with water and spray his siblings. I was already kind of testy due to the fact that New Year's Eve had been thwarted by an old friend showing her true colors. Nothing worth writing about, but her actions put the kibosh on what sounded like a fun night and I was trying to get things ready for the impromptu gathering I decided to have at my house.
Nothing says, "Don't piss Mom off" like the Pre-Party Warpath. All I ask is that they stay out of my way and don't make the usual frat house messes right after I clean. That's all I ask.
So William takes this spray bottle and starts spraying Henry while Henry is engrossed in one of his video games. (by the way, this may be a good time to mention that I am seriously considering taking the X-box out in the back yard and beating it to death with a baseball bat). Henry is a sweet kid. A funny, smart boy with a face like an angel. But push the wrong button, and Henry will go ballistic. Like truck driver, drunken sailor, UFC fighter-ballistic. My poor friend Gillian was witness to this one magical night...she had dropped Molly off after a babysitting gig and stayed for a bit to gab. Henry had fallen asleep on the couch and I was attempting to wake him up so he'd go to bed and let me and my fat ass occupy the couch. "Henry, honey...wake up! You need to move to your bed.." I cooed to him in my best "aren't I a gentle mom" voice. Suddenly Henry's head spun around and a guttural, evil voice croaked, "LEAVE ME THE F*CK ALONE" . Yes, Gillian. Welcome to my world.
Later on she decided that when they make the Happy Hausfrau movie, Henry will be played by Eric Cartman from South Park..
But anyways. So Henry got sprayed, Henry got angry. William was running full speed through the house, spray bottle clutched in his hot little hands, screaming as Eric Cartman bore down on him.
They ran right into the little buffet table I had set up for the evening's festivities. Knocked a bunch of stuff to the floor, breaking a little serving dish I loved (a cheapie Ikea dish but I loved it!).
Enter Joan "Jenny" Crawford.
I yanked the spray bottle out of William's hand, said a few choice phrases that I'm sure would make Alec Baldwin proud, and proceeded to open up the patio door and throw that spray bottle out into the backyard with all my might.
William, who thankfully didn't get the South Park gene, got red in the face and stomped away. Eric Cartman said, "Nice going Mom", took some of the crackers off of my now off-kilter buffet table and went back to his X-box coma.
I felt shame and regret but you know what? I got over it. I put my boots on, trudged out into the 3 feet of snow and retrieved the offending spray bottle. Life went on.
Winter break 2010/11 was nice. Tomorrow morning the alarm clock will go off at 5:45 again, and once again I'll keep hitting snooze until the last possible second. The angels will (hopefully) get on their bus, I'll go back to work and see my sweet kids at school. The routine of life will start humming again.
Oh...and I should mention this...on New Year's Eve I got a message on facebook from an old friend.
John McCain.
It was just a simple "Happy New Year" message, but I felt a little flutter. He and I haven't spoken in over a year, and I'm sure my sappy, over-active imagination is reading way too much into this, but I fluttered. I wanted to send him a novel in reply, ask him how he's doing, apologize for being such a flighty bitch...but I replied very demurely. Wishing him a Happy New Year.
Is this a new door opening in this brand new year, or just a kind person extending good wishes to someone they once shared some time with? Who knows.
But it was a nice little surprise in the middle of a very relaxing, mellow holiday weekend.
Good luck tomorrow morning, mommies. Good luck and good job.
We survived another Winter Break.
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