tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post2431196937857197082..comments2024-02-23T10:00:32.673-06:00Comments on the happy hausfrau: Straight Outta Steubenville: "This Happens Every Friday Night"the_happy_hausfrauhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-1229252726316493452013-05-04T09:09:53.878-05:002013-05-04T09:09:53.878-05:00Except that teaching a girl or woman how not to be...Except that teaching a girl or woman how not to be raped is impossible. Nuns are raped. Presumably while sober. Ditto for hijabis in face veils--while nuns probably aren't forbidden to drink, *they* definitely are.<br /><br />I think it might be more useful to teach our girls what to do and how to think if they are ever raped. Don't keep it to yourself. Tell someone you trust. (Make sure Mom is someone to trust.) Go to the ER. Get a rape kit. File a police report.<br /><br />You have no control over men. I got drunk a whole bunch of times in my early twenties and nothing like this Steubenville incident ever happened to me. (Something unwelcome did happen, just not of that caliber.) It is a total crap shoot, even when you think they're nice men. There is no point guilt-tripping our daughters about it. If men find it that difficult to control themselves then maybe we should lock them all up past the age of ten. Meanwhile the rest of us have to live our own lives. We can live no one else's. So the best thing to do for our girls is *teach* them how to do that. Here's what happens if a disaster should occur. We'd do it for an auto accident or a tornado. We should do it for rape too.Dana Seilhanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11749354913843954242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-90852835232120193602013-03-24T12:21:41.697-05:002013-03-24T12:21:41.697-05:00Yep. And yep. I agree on both counts. Yep. And yep. I agree on both counts. the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-31135958045259133022013-03-24T12:20:57.628-05:002013-03-24T12:20:57.628-05:00It's not easy raising good boys, is it? I'...It's not easy raising good boys, is it? I'm glad yours has turned out so nice! We need more moms like you in this world.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-35703527913221629752013-03-24T12:18:33.072-05:002013-03-24T12:18:33.072-05:00I hope we all live to see it. Sadly, I think it...I hope we all live to see it. Sadly, I think it's something that is SO ingrained into some of the population that it's going to take longer than one generation to eradicate it. <br /><br />Good on you, for teaching your daughter self-defense. I hope she never needs to use it :)the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-44106253738245592172013-03-24T12:16:08.257-05:002013-03-24T12:16:08.257-05:00Thanks Jenzi. I just about vomited when I watched ...Thanks Jenzi. I just about vomited when I watched the clips of the CNN newsies lamenting the fate of these "boys". Because the girl is not going to suffer ANY long term ill-effects, ya know. /sarcasm<br /><br />the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-42158157910782514182013-03-24T12:14:40.295-05:002013-03-24T12:14:40.295-05:00Gail I see promise every day too. That gives me a ...Gail I see promise every day too. That gives me a lot of hope.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-20581704520127162022013-03-24T12:14:02.829-05:002013-03-24T12:14:02.829-05:00Okay..the original concept of this post was going ...Okay..the original concept of this post was going to be about the ADULTS in Steubenville..where were they? I am not stupid (very often) and I know too well that teens will find a way to do the things they do. But I wanted to know this stuff too. I'd like to think that some of the adults knew what was going on. And the fact that adults/parents didn't play a bigger role in this. the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-81411236875969515242013-03-24T12:11:32.277-05:002013-03-24T12:11:32.277-05:00They PEED on her??? I didn't read that one. Ga...They PEED on her??? I didn't read that one. Gahhh. I worry about the future of our society. Seriously.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-84992913184182494932013-03-23T13:00:31.808-05:002013-03-23T13:00:31.808-05:00Unfortunately, this younger generation saddens me....Unfortunately, this younger generation saddens me. Even more unfortunate is the fact that OUR generation has to take responsibility for what they have been taught. Mommyof1http://mommyof1-momspot.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-64003908265280271662013-03-23T08:35:56.846-05:002013-03-23T08:35:56.846-05:00Amen. One line, among many others, stood out to me...Amen. One line, among many others, stood out to me. I know someone who, in his distant past, was guilty of being a popular boy who was guilty of being mean to less popular (ie: fat, ugly, not stylish) girls. I will never let him forget it and I tried hard to raise my son with different attitudes. He has risen above my expectations and has become a champion of the less fortunate (no matter how they got that way.) I am immensely proud of him. Too bad all boys don't think that way too. kenjuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07342414519714356343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-16060614981778509462013-03-22T23:03:34.367-05:002013-03-22T23:03:34.367-05:00It's always been my greatest regret that I was...It's always been my greatest regret that I wasn't even more outspoken about this issue in college when I'd see these workshops for girls on how to prevent rape, when there wasn't a SINGLE workshop directed towards boys about how to NOT RAPE. It has always stuck with me as being the root of the problem that women face, that it has been put on our shoulders to prevent men from doing what "comes naturally" to them (apparently all men are really rapists at heart, and only be a great feat of strength, and women being very, very, very careful not to provoke them, can that raping be kept at bay), by adopting certain behaviors. Don't get me wrong--my daughter is learning martial arts (just like her momma did), and cautious behavior, as well as being taught that the vast majority of rape cases occur with someone the woman knew, and often knew well, NOT the "man jumping out of the bushes."<br /><br />But, it's hard for me when I see cases like this, and know that it's representative of that problem I saw on my campus. Men aren't being addressed enough in the rape discussion. They're just not being involved, and I think it's the greatest insult to men ever. The assumption that men can't unlearn the desire to rape, and even taking it to the extreme where they shouldn't HAVE to not try to rape women, because it's just "their nature," is horrific. I want so much to not live in a world where this is the norm, but I know that it's not something that can be changed in a generation. It's a sickness that is so deeply entrenched in our culture that it's going to take a long, long time before we can finally live in a world where parents raise children into adults that know that they don't have the right to rape anyone, under any circumstances, for any reason, no matter what that person did or said or wore. Period. I just hope that I live to see it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-82081482448434687252013-03-22T20:26:30.266-05:002013-03-22T20:26:30.266-05:00Couldn't agree more with ALL of you (and SO pr...Couldn't agree more with ALL of you (and SO proud to see my hubby saying that "boys will be boys" is such a nauseatingly lame excuse!!). What I really like about this, Jenny, is your willingness to be totally honest with yourself and say "those could have been my kids." (Ironically, I think it's extremely unlikely any of yours will ever behave badly on this level, for so many reasons -- one of them being that their mother has more maturity and responsibility in her pinkie toe than many have in their whole bodies.) If only ALL parents would think that way! How many of us have heard of the kid from the nice suburban middle-class -- or affluent -- family who gets in serious shit with alcohol, drugs, and/or sexual assault, or all of the above...only to have Mom and Dad go into total denial: "No way, not MY kids! They'd NEVER do something like that." Then there's the husband of one of my besties -- a SLP graduate, just like us, Jenny -- who said these exact words once: "Date rape doesn't happen in the suburbs!" <br />And don't even get me started on the morons -- including those in the news media -- who are all "Oh, those poor boys in Steubenville...one little mistake and their promising young lives are ruined." Talk about being part of the problem....!!!<br />Anyway, I'm glad you posted this too. Why can't more people think like you do?JCShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18206618987380198579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-9487268850454936302013-03-22T13:07:24.266-05:002013-03-22T13:07:24.266-05:00I read this same article too. I read Kit's pos...I read this same article too. I read Kit's post as well.<br />Some of the mentality I see at work is really disturbing. I mean where the hell are the parents and what are they doing to these kids at home?! Then again it always makes my day when a kid does something remarkable and that tends to happen almost every day here. I'm glad you posted this. grenee229https://www.blogger.com/profile/14997338725198139106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-78622598794003546342013-03-22T12:00:17.417-05:002013-03-22T12:00:17.417-05:00The whole thing is horrible, not just as regards t...The whole thing is horrible, not just as regards the victim, but also for what it says about our teens as a whole - what's allowed, what's believed, the whole "tribe apart" mentality. And why was no one prosecuted for all the underage drinking? Wasn't one of the parties held at a coach's house?<br />Suburban Correspondenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11488916572135296650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-699792036350006752013-03-22T11:22:35.126-05:002013-03-22T11:22:35.126-05:00The "Boys will be boys" mentality just d...The "Boys will be boys" mentality just doesn't cut it. Since when do normal, decent boys piddle all over someone who is passed out?<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06911615126509145165noreply@blogger.com