tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post2235552920882126834..comments2024-02-23T10:00:32.673-06:00Comments on the happy hausfrau: OMG Not Those People Againthe_happy_hausfrauhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-5812732167635422452016-02-21T15:15:08.129-06:002016-02-21T15:15:08.129-06:00Yes, it's true. Support is calculated by the ...Yes, it's true. Support is calculated by the percentage on the support order yet some people spend zero time with their children <br /><br />As someone on The other side of the desk, I find it hard to understand how the IRS considers a child in school to be a dependent through age 24 yet child support is over at age 18. Most children are truly financially dependent until at least 23. These 'living ' expenses should be paid by both parents, not just the custodial parent. <br /><br />I admire you and this blog which is so valuable to others who have 'been there, done that'. Vickie Adams, CFPhttp://www.mydivorcefinancialplanner.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-70450982264008802312016-02-03T20:05:42.488-06:002016-02-03T20:05:42.488-06:00Jenny, I am just now catching up with your last fe...Jenny, I am just now catching up with your last few posts. Stupid FB never showed me the link to this one or the follow-up, and I was having some, well, "issues" (thank you, perimenopause!) that had me too distracted to remember to look for new posts...Anyway, I feel so bad I'm so late in seeing this, and adding to the "tip jar"...but I just added a little something :) I hope you don't need it urgently anymore, but please know it's there for later just in case. And most of all...please oh please do not EVER feel ashamed or embarrassed about needing that help from friends, the food pantry, or whoever. Just to give you some perspective about what motivates SOME people to ask for help...I know someone who started a GoFundMe page to get her friends to fly her to Vegas to see a musician she loves who's playing there this year. Never mind that this person -- who has no problem paying for her basic needs, and NO extra mouths to feed either -- could EASILY afford this little vanity trip if she would actually save some money for it! Her doing this is selfish and inappropriate, YOUR needs are anything BUT that. And we are more than happy to help you meet them...and you owe us NOTHING, EVER, so please don't feel otherwise. We just love you and want you to have peace of mind about making ends meet, and everything else. Oh...and about BD, who I (like everyone else here) ultimately blame for your situation? I'll just say this, again...karma's a beee-atch. And someday, he'll find that out. Hugs to you, the kids and Walter!JCShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18206618987380198579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-62468330281276246342016-01-23T05:56:05.202-06:002016-01-23T05:56:05.202-06:00God, that MacGyvering line made me laugh!
But I wa...God, that MacGyvering line made me laugh!<br />But I was tearing up at the end. Your kids are a testament to how awesome you are as a mum and role model. I hope it gets a bit easier again.javajivehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08861252722283263501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-39001462924120290592016-01-22T18:31:35.895-06:002016-01-22T18:31:35.895-06:00I'm late to the party (and broke, alas), but a...I'm late to the party (and broke, alas), but a thought about the car- I don't know what you drive, but this worked on my last car and a few friends'. A lot of models have the same handles/motors on the front and back doors per side. When the driver's side motor burned out, I swapped it with the one behind it since I never need to roll that one down. You can watch a video on Youtube about how to make the swap, that's what I did, I'm not a 'car person' at all.<br /><br />I was embarrassed but it beat rain in the car.Valeriannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-30313614997226981952016-01-22T17:26:32.861-06:002016-01-22T17:26:32.861-06:00Oh man, been there--I am there too often. Hope it...Oh man, been there--I am there too often. Hope it gets better for all of us.MidLife Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020094232485089817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-14544101310194933602016-01-21T07:08:09.746-06:002016-01-21T07:08:09.746-06:00Melissa, I've been crying like a baby for the ...Melissa, I've been crying like a baby for the past few days. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't know what else to say. Your kind heart, and the other kind hearts out there, have shown us love. It's mind-blowing. Thank you.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-17218529657035971412016-01-20T22:45:43.682-06:002016-01-20T22:45:43.682-06:00I gave some money - hope it helps a bit. I couldn...I gave some money - hope it helps a bit. I couldn't be as strong as you - what a great mom you are!Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05319879546213558545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-44675318640476449392016-01-20T18:13:11.032-06:002016-01-20T18:13:11.032-06:00You are right, the kids figured this stuff out lon...You are right, the kids figured this stuff out long ago. I still don't talk smack about him, even though it would be so easy to do so. <br /><br />I don't want to identify him here for a couple of reasons: first, to do that would put me in a really bad place, legally. Although everything I've written about is true, and it's all happened to me and the kids and therefore is my story to tell, it would open up a can of worms that I'd rather leave shut.<br /><br />Secondly, despite what he's done, and hasn't done, over the years, I feel as though he deserves privacy. It's bad enough that everyone in our city knows him and her and what they've done. I can't imagine walking through the grocery store or Target knowing that chances are really good someone within spitting distance knows all of the crappy things I've done to my kids and ex. For right now, I think that's punishment enough and obviously hasn't shamed either of them one bit.<br /><br />In fact, their first kid is (I think?) going to be kindergarten age this upcoming fall and I'm DYING to see if they enroll him at the school I work at. DYING. Of course I'd never do anything negative but jeeze...the staff here, the teachers: they're my friends :)<br /><br />Thank you for thinking of us. Here's to hoping the dog and pony show doesn't last.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-43682494917981534112016-01-20T18:07:15.470-06:002016-01-20T18:07:15.470-06:00Thank you so much, anonymous :) I sure hope it...Thank you so much, anonymous :) I sure hope it's a good track. I really appreciate your sweet words!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-56672590029424069382016-01-20T12:44:27.667-06:002016-01-20T12:44:27.667-06:00why don't you identify BD? Then maybe he would...why don't you identify BD? Then maybe he would be shamed into doing the right thing!! His kids already know how despicably he has behaved, so outing him shouldn't cause them any additional grief and it would shed a light of truth on his dog and pony show of a life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-71092328226490178812016-01-20T12:17:41.381-06:002016-01-20T12:17:41.381-06:00You are inspirational...your situation is not who ...You are inspirational...your situation is not who you are...it is what makes you who you will become and you, my dear, are on a good track. Keep writing, keep going, keep laughing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-42213541914938899692016-01-18T22:57:43.617-06:002016-01-18T22:57:43.617-06:00I would LOVE to know more about your friend's ...I would LOVE to know more about your friend's experience! I contacted a former attorney of mine but all he said was to look online for forms on the Hennepin County website. And I'm waaay to distracted for that. <br /><br />Girl I hear you. All I had for a loooong time was some spousal maintenance. He took me to court to have his child support obligation reduced to zero and have everything/anything he paid earmarked as "spousal maintenance". You know why? So he could get a tax break. So there I was, the poorest mom in Minnesota (or so it felt) scraping up $2,000 to pay in taxes every spring. Life is funny.<br /><br />And P.S., I had one who needed braces. She didn't get them. She said to me, and this still kills me: "That's okay. I'll be one of those grownups who pays for their own braces." Gahhh. <br /><br />And yes, my friend, there are so many good lessons buried here in this pile of crap. My kids know the true value of money. They know how to save and how to determine a want vs a need. I hope they remember all of this and I hope they don't resent me for having to be the one to teach them.<br /><br />Thank so much for this. So good to know another Minnesota mama.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-15587554352823410292016-01-18T22:46:04.506-06:002016-01-18T22:46:04.506-06:00Ahhh you guys are KILLIN' me! I love this. Tha...Ahhh you guys are KILLIN' me! I love this. Thank you so much for the love. And LOL@ flaming turd straight out of Satan's ass! That's perfect. Flaming turd with a gross goatee. <br /><br />I love your hugs and believe it or not, I can feel them. Thank you :))<br /><br />A friend of mine insisted I set up a Paypal tip jar on the blog. I did so with great hesitation and with lots of pride swallowed. But it's there!<br /><br />Already blown away by the love.<br /><br />Thank you!!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-5181534417199010292016-01-18T22:43:36.435-06:002016-01-18T22:43:36.435-06:00Oh Zara, this is beautiful. Thank you, so so much....Oh Zara, this is beautiful. Thank you, so so much. It is absolutely the proper expression and it is so very appreciated. <br /><br />Thank you ♥<br /><br />Jennythe_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-72027518695666676712016-01-18T22:42:21.814-06:002016-01-18T22:42:21.814-06:00Wheeee! Oh anon. This comment is everything!
You ...Wheeee! Oh anon. This comment is everything!<br /><br />You know what? I wouldn't know Secretary if she walked right by me. The few times I've seen her have been completely spontaneous and horrifying. I've heard that she and I look like we could be related, although I'm hoping it's not because of the whole demon/possessed eyes.<br /><br />I hate to say that you are pretty much right. Despite a few attempts to be a dad, he's out of their lives. And that sucks. I don't wish ill on anyone, even those two, but I have to admit it would be nice to see them have to deal with even one tenth of what the kids and I have gone through. They'd crumble, I can tell you that much. <br /><br />Thank you for your prayers, and for your amazingly awesome words.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-70380282423709285952016-01-18T13:58:25.768-06:002016-01-18T13:58:25.768-06:00The thing is, BD will never steps in. BD is so ste...The thing is, BD will never steps in. BD is so steep and deep in the vitriolic and putrid Secretary's hole. BD wants his Satanic cult member Secretary, and being a coward, he will not do anything to anger his Secretary because Secretary will smote him to ashes. From my sleuthing around, I'm pretty sure I found who Secretary is, and man, does she look evil. Do you see her eyes staring down at you from her profile pics? She looks demonic and possessed. BD permanently lost his balls and manhood, and he will not get out from the she demon's lair and snare. And that means, he will not ever step up his game to his other four kids. Shattering as it is, to him, they are dead. BD sacrificed his own children so he can get a new lease in life with the demon.<br /><br />BD will get his due, mark my word. There is always a consequence for every decision and action. He many be skating well right now on smooth ice, but he will hit a wall. <br /><br />I pray you and your children will flourish. That in each step, each day, you are building and giving a lifetime of solid blocks, full of love, and that all of you will make it, be successful, and will get to have all your heart's desire.<br /><br />Be strong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-47435224859288611302016-01-17T16:23:33.348-06:002016-01-17T16:23:33.348-06:00I'm really sorry you had to go through all tha...I'm really sorry you had to go through all that. I know that life is not easy and definitely it's not fair but if you let us, I think all of your readers would like to make your life a little bit easier by sending what we can to your PayPal account. I don't know if this is proper expression in the english language, but wishing you good fortune with everything you do.Zaranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-65225895010781570602016-01-17T15:55:49.709-06:002016-01-17T15:55:49.709-06:00Augh, I meant having to ask for help sucks. Having...Augh, I meant having to ask for help sucks. Having to accept help sucks, puts a big ol' dent in the ego.<br /><br />But people wanting to help? That is beautiful and it makes my heart leap and cry and cheer.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-87561320817899272982016-01-17T15:54:31.268-06:002016-01-17T15:54:31.268-06:00Okay Anon!! You guys win. Actually, a friend of mi...Okay Anon!! You guys win. Actually, a friend of mine who is also a reader here called me and pretty much made me put a contribution button on this old blog. He walked me through it and yes, in case anyone was wondering, I kicked and screamed the whole way. I'm rich with pride and asking for help has never come easy. But I figure it will be a little emergency $$ in Paypal for weeks like the one we just limped through.<br /><br />From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Dammit I'm crying again. This sucks :(the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-46909995425670768402016-01-17T15:51:38.547-06:002016-01-17T15:51:38.547-06:00I will never, ever forget this: the day before Tha...I will never, ever forget this: the day before Thanksgiving, 2008. I hadn't seen child support for a few months and had just obtained my pro-bono attorney. <br /><br />A huge, shiny BMW pulled into our driveway and a really smarmy looking guy got out and waltzed up to my front door. He announced himself as Big Daddy's attorney and then served me with papers. Papers for an emergency court date because Big Daddy was undergoing severe financial distress and was moving to change his child support obligations to ZERO. <br /><br />Funny how he found the money to pay Sleazy Attorney but not to help feed his kids. <br /><br />That's what stinks about your friend's (and my) situation. They have deep pockets, and we don't. the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-32584566369654791862016-01-17T15:36:44.947-06:002016-01-17T15:36:44.947-06:00Joan, I have a little over a year left to complete...Joan, I have a little over a year left to complete. Not even sure how many credits I have...I'm so old my transcripts are probably carved in stone. <br /><br />You know, when the kids and I first moved into this house, I got a wild hair and started the application process to a weekend/evening college program. Then the shit really hit the fan and I had to scrap it.<br /><br />You're 100% right: it's time to revisit that little dream. Thank you for the links!!!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-58366357305923056442016-01-17T15:34:47.609-06:002016-01-17T15:34:47.609-06:00Oh Silvana. My heart aches for what you've bee...Oh Silvana. My heart aches for what you've been through. Credit cards helped keep my family alive for the first year or so of our "decline" (lol). Then I couldn't even pay the minimums and you know how that ended.<br /><br />I love what the judge said, yet I'm FURIOUS on your behalf that there wasn't anything he could do to force the ex to contribute.<br /><br />Amen to our beautiful, resilient and independent kids taking matters into their own hands and doing all of this on their own! In a way it's like a really polite "f*ck you" to their dads. Unfortunately, the dads won't see it. <br /><br />You're a great mom too, Silvana. Someday you and I will have a fun dinner together, okay? the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-72213184426678473072016-01-17T15:29:11.242-06:002016-01-17T15:29:11.242-06:00This is in response to Suburban Correspondent, I s...This is in response to Suburban Correspondent, I somehow can't reply to her comment: Food shelves love donations of food, but what they love more is donations of money. Instead of going to Costco you can give them the money directly and they can actually buy more food with it that you can! It's a great idea, either way, but your $$ goes further with a direct donation. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-3613005822327280542016-01-17T15:28:39.940-06:002016-01-17T15:28:39.940-06:00I will gladly accept prayers :) I love that. Than...I will gladly accept prayers :) I love that. Thank you so much. the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-39432936668919228292016-01-17T15:28:05.849-06:002016-01-17T15:28:05.849-06:00Awww thank you!!! I wish you lived closer too! I&#...Awww thank you!!! I wish you lived closer too! I'd totally come over :) the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.com