tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post1443014573609447603..comments2024-02-23T10:00:32.673-06:00Comments on the happy hausfrau: How Dare You Call Yourself A Single Parent!the_happy_hausfrauhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-38348863736306204402019-02-13T20:22:04.738-06:002019-02-13T20:22:04.738-06:00Love you Jenny! People are dumb. My mom was a sing...Love you Jenny! People are dumb. My mom was a single mom after she left my cheating dad when I was 9 months old, and I think you all are AMAZING. Wonder Women! Lesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00298959460831328477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-73633756065810495832019-02-13T11:06:01.354-06:002019-02-13T11:06:01.354-06:00I agree, this is a trite and rather meaningless ar...I agree, this is a trite and rather meaningless argument. I know someone that referred to themselves as a "solo" parent after their spouse passed away because they felt that "single" parenting did not adequately describe their position since she was completely alone parenting and "single" parents had the other parent to help, as well as financial support. To me it felt like she didn't want to be grouped with "those people" that had clearly had poor judgement and somehow caused their situation when she was merely a victim of circumstance. So that was offensive, particularly since I am a single parent that recieves little to no help from my ex, and certainly has no one that I can count on. It all goes back to b people tearing each other down when we should be lifting other parents up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-2467103171834770422015-02-27T10:30:18.425-06:002015-02-27T10:30:18.425-06:00Loved this! As one who has had joint custody, alth...Loved this! As one who has had joint custody, although my ex couldn't handle any of the "crisis" moments anyway, to now having sole custody, I was always a single parent after the divorce. But far be it from me to compare my "single-parentedness" to anyone else. I do the best I can for my kids and that's really all that has ever mattered to me. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03810678367002115259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-45843299793725141142015-02-23T07:46:30.773-06:002015-02-23T07:46:30.773-06:00Oh how I understand what you're talking about ...Oh how I understand what you're talking about re: the weekends without kids. It did get easier over time but there was always something missing. <br /><br />You are exactly the person I was picturing when I went on this rant (well, not you personally but people who are in your position). Of course there are others who have it harder...there always are! But your feelings of sadness and frustration are just as valid as the person who never gets "a break". I'm glad you got some reassurance from what I wrote. You deserve it!<br /><br />Thanks a bunch for reading.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-29107667024741513402015-02-23T07:40:03.421-06:002015-02-23T07:40:03.421-06:00Woman, I feel ya. It was SO FRUSTRATING having to ...Woman, I feel ya. It was SO FRUSTRATING having to do it all in addition to fighting with my ex to provide help in any form. <br /><br />I hope you get some rest :)the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-27328459838413850372015-02-23T07:31:50.009-06:002015-02-23T07:31:50.009-06:00And ha Kat! God how I wish Walter had thumbs. I kn...And ha Kat! God how I wish Walter had thumbs. I know he'd help around the house if he could.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-6390205149870599272015-02-23T07:30:11.854-06:002015-02-23T07:30:11.854-06:00Nicole, I used to think that too...in fact, in my ...Nicole, I used to think that too...in fact, in my oldest child's baby book (the only one that has anything written in it..oops)...I noted how hard it was to take care of a baby on wrote, "I could never do this alone". I believe in the writing world they call that "foreshadowing" LOL. <br /><br />I think what you are doing is tough, too, sister. Kudos to you and hubby for making it work. <br /><br />And eff the plants. I haven't had a houseplant in over a decade. I'm still amazed the dog has made it 7 years with me.<br /><br />Thanks so much for reading, and for sharing a bit of your story as well. We're all pretty awesome.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-49669479379109602342015-02-23T07:26:20.006-06:002015-02-23T07:26:20.006-06:00ahh...thank you, anonymous. I appreciate your kind...ahh...thank you, anonymous. I appreciate your kind words!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-80188535852426947772015-02-23T07:16:43.311-06:002015-02-23T07:16:43.311-06:00Oh Donna. I'm so glad to hear my kids weren...Oh Donna. I'm so glad to hear my kids weren't the only ones who ran into my room to vomit rather than the bathroom which was literally TWO STEPS AWAY. We had to do away with Taco Night for several years after one such incident. <br /><br />And yes, a thousand times yes to this: "I can't understand why we can't all accept that none of us has had the exact same experiences but that we all are doing the best we can." That's what lit the fire under me when I read those comments. Being a parent, and especially a single parent, isn't a numbers game. It's not about hours served or keeping track of sacrifices in columns. It's about doing whatever you can to keep your boat afloat no matter what challenges you face. It's hard as hell, whether or not you have a partner. Sometimes having a partner who's not in it with you is even harder than doing it alone. The last few months of my marriage, when my husband was staying out until 4 a.m. every night, coming home drunk as hell and then pretending everything was "okey dokey" were tough and humiliating and now that I look back on them, excellent practice for what I was about to go through.<br /><br />Thank you, Donna, for reading and for sharing the story of your "Dark Years". I love hearing about your life!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-48416557007898762382015-02-23T07:07:15.241-06:002015-02-23T07:07:15.241-06:00Amen, Kat! A-FREAKIN-MEN.
I think that's abo...Amen, Kat! A-FREAKIN-MEN. <br /><br />I think that's about the same amount of time most of mine saw their dad too. So yes. I double-dog dare anyone to tell us we aren't single parents. Preach, sister!<br /><br />Thanks so much :)the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-5921741741736503752015-02-22T15:18:16.765-06:002015-02-22T15:18:16.765-06:00Oh Candace. Yep. Martyrdom is not hot. Being suppo...Oh Candace. Yep. Martyrdom is not hot. Being supportive of your fellow parents, who may or may not be doing this stuff 100% solo 100% of the time...that's beautiful. Imagine if we all just said to the person in the trenches with us: Good job, my friend. Good freaking job. Let me know if you need any help.<br /><br />Thanks so much for reading!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-51862530127805736652015-02-22T15:16:02.358-06:002015-02-22T15:16:02.358-06:00HA!! The Donger needs FOOD.
Second best Dong quo...HA!! The Donger needs FOOD. <br /><br />Second best Dong quote ;)<br /><br />Thanks for reading!!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-50048639312307476352015-02-22T15:15:26.485-06:002015-02-22T15:15:26.485-06:00Yes. And yes! And yes!
I agree with you :)
Thank...Yes. And yes! And yes!<br /><br />I agree with you :)<br /><br />Thanks so much for reading!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-3164088366300986502015-02-22T15:14:22.669-06:002015-02-22T15:14:22.669-06:00Thank you, Charesse! And thank you for mentioning ...Thank you, Charesse! And thank you for mentioning that even though you are in a relationship, you are still single parenting. Because when the kids are with you, YOU are their parent. I'm sure many people have super helpful boyfriends/girlfriends, and that's awesome. I'm actually envious! But until they are right there with you, wiping up puke or attending conferences or patching owies, you're on your own. Yikes..the you're and your are messing me up today, ha!<br /><br />Girl, if you're ever in Minneapolis give me a whistle. New hens are always welcome ♥the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-14343374924671200312015-02-22T15:10:05.817-06:002015-02-22T15:10:05.817-06:00I think JazzHands needs her own twitter account. S...I think JazzHands needs her own twitter account. Seriously, I don't get the hoarding of the term. Share and share alike...there will ALWAYS be leftovers.<br /><br />Thanks so much for reading!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-82328759548696872015-02-22T14:58:31.007-06:002015-02-22T14:58:31.007-06:00Right??? Here's the kicker...I don't think...Right??? Here's the kicker...I don't think the original article even CONTAINED the words "single parent". Someone had a stick up their hiney before they even read the article. If they did, in fact, read it. <br /><br />Thanks so much for reading!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-28312222507941210672015-02-22T14:57:09.530-06:002015-02-22T14:57:09.530-06:00Frick. No editing these comments, ha! "I thin...Frick. No editing these comments, ha! "I think that 50/50 custody CAN be..not and be. Gah.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-27484651778298810742015-02-22T14:55:55.009-06:002015-02-22T14:55:55.009-06:00I agree with you, anonymous. Getting our kids rais...I agree with you, anonymous. Getting our kids raised, and raised well, should be the common goal. And I think what you said about parenting being hard, and why make it harder with labels...it great. That's one thing that pissed me off about the blanket statements those comments made: "I do this 100% of the time on my own, therefore my life is harder and I am a true single parent and screw you if you think you 'deserve' to call yourself one too". I know SO MANY people who have to deal with nightmare ex-husbands and ex-wives and ex-in laws. I think that 50/50 custody and be just as, if not 100 times harder than having your kids 100% of the time. The mental stress caused by nonstop mind-effing from some exes can consume a person. <br /><br />Whew. Nerve touched, ha!<br /><br />Thanks a bunch for reading and commenting. the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-82746247660003593782015-02-22T14:50:37.444-06:002015-02-22T14:50:37.444-06:00Anonymous: YES. That's what I was trying to sa...Anonymous: YES. That's what I was trying to say (which you managed to say with about 1,000 words less, ha!!!). <br /><br />We all have different experiences and perspectives and levels of patience. Some women might not have been able to handle what I went through, and some might look at my experiences and say, "Is that all??". I am blown away, constantly, by the stories people share with me about what they've dealt with. I think we're all pretty damn remarkable, and our kids are going to rule the world someday. Maybe ;)<br /><br />Thanks so much for reading!the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-52787036966922070912015-02-22T10:44:34.893-06:002015-02-22T10:44:34.893-06:00Thank you for this. I've been divorced now for...Thank you for this. I've been divorced now for almost 3 years. My ex and I share custody 50/50. He readily picks up the slack when my work interferes with parenting, and his boss-now-live-in is also very gracious about it all. I am grateful for the ease with which we co-parent. And? It kills me to have my children gone so much. It's like a little piece of my soul goes missing every other week. And? It's actually really nice to have that time to be responsible only for me. <br /><br />When others call me a "single parent" I cringe a little, because I realize how much easier my life is than many others with little or no "co". But I am single. Very. And a parent. Completely.<br /><br />Your lovely writing just gave me loads of permission to not care what the label is, and to simply continue doing the best I can. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14038739188664027483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-75024679488516107882015-02-22T07:41:53.168-06:002015-02-22T07:41:53.168-06:00I always felt like I was a single parent while I w...I always felt like I was a single parent while I was married. Now that I'm divorced, I call myself an "only parent" because my ex is completely out of the picture in terms of being there emotionally, physically and financially. He's legally obligated financially, but does not pay a vast majority of the time and that's when my resentment kicks in. As only parent to our three kids, I have to spend hundreds of ours in court, simply to have the law enforced. Oh, and I can rant on my blog, but right now I'm too tired.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-11442009387850045362015-02-21T14:42:06.491-06:002015-02-21T14:42:06.491-06:00As someone who told the dog that she "needed ...As someone who told the dog that she "needed to start pulling her own weight around here", I totally understand resenting your houseplants.Katnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-37020955733649556722015-02-21T11:09:42.504-06:002015-02-21T11:09:42.504-06:00HA!!!! Yes. Eat it UP.HA!!!! Yes. Eat it UP.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-91386960849719422022015-02-21T11:09:10.219-06:002015-02-21T11:09:10.219-06:00I agree. Women (a lot of them) are emotionally stu...I agree. Women (a lot of them) are emotionally stunted when it comes to stuff like this. I doubt men give it much, if any, thought. Or if they do, they aren't commenting on it or blogging about it, ha!<br /><br />Thanks so much for reading. And yep on the comments under one's real identity. You'd think it would keep some people in check. Obviously not.the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7377914227915645124.post-86199312269606419042015-02-21T11:06:37.039-06:002015-02-21T11:06:37.039-06:00Pity vampires! Love it! And YES. I don't get h...Pity vampires! Love it! And YES. I don't get how some people, who are pretty much in the same boat, want to throw shade at others instead of solidarity. <br /><br />I am with you on defending the single parents for-freaking-ever. Even if I got married tomorrow and my partner turned out to be the bestest, most helpful stepfather ever, I don't know if I'd be able to lose that single-parent feeling. <br /><br />It's a really hard job. The toughest people I know are single parents. All of them. I met one of my son's friend's moms last weekend. We realized that we're both divorced. She does the week on/week off thing and she said something that broke my heart. We were discussing how we like when the whole gang of boys ends up camping in our basements...so we know they're okay and not getting into too much trouble. She said, "I only have him every other week and time is flying by. I love having him and his friends over at my house because when he's gone it hurts so bad."<br /><br />Thanks for reading, Tracy! the_happy_hausfrauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07372773477740551839noreply@blogger.com