Are you there, blog world?
Itsa me, Jenny.
July 2022 is half over, the last time I sat here with this screen in front of me was approximately 7 months ago. Shoot I remember when this was a daily thing. Sometimes multiple times daily lol.
A lot has happened in seven months. And that is an understatement. A huge one.
I’ll start with the reason for the title of this post.
Almost every Tuesday night, my friend Beth and I go see a movie. It’s the cheap night at Emagine Theaters here in Minnesota, $5.00 and free popcorn. I upgrade to a medium and get the real butter so the evening’s total is more like $8.00 but still, a bargain.
Beth and I have been doing this for a long time. There was a break during the lockdown stuff and we’ve had a few nights when it just didn’t work but this is a longstanding date and one that we both really enjoy.
The theater, the same two seats we get every time (always on the right side, always in the first row of the second section and always on the aisle), the popcorn, the comforting pillow of relief that looks a lot like a leather recliner…it’s our safe place.
Before the lights go down, we take our requisite foot picture (see above) and we chat.
We give brief synopses of our weeks, we inquire about fun/sad/challenging times, I ask about her puppy, she asks about my cats (oh yeah…see? Shit has changed). We catch up and then the movie starts and we settle into those relief pillows and escape for approximately two hours.
Some would say it’s a poor excuse for a night together. “You’re literally sitting in silence for two hours, how is that any fun?”
I don’t care. We love it and it’s become something that I kinda hope continues until movie theaters are a thing of the past, or we are.
So a couple Tuesdays ago, during our pre-film chat, Beth asked me a question.
“Are you walking?”
I replied “Nope.”
She then asked me, “Are you reading?”
Again: “No.”
Third question was
“Are you writing?”
And thricely I responded with “No.” (thricely is not a word but it should be)
I can’t recall the rest of our conversation but man, did that line of questioning stick with me. I kept hearing it in my head, for days afterwards.
Too much to go into now, but it really hit me. It hit me like a truck. Like a big semi truck too, not like a little UHaul pickup or cargo van.
It hit me just how much I am not doing for myself these days. I used to walk every single day. Winter, spring summer and fall, rain or shine, in sickness and in health, I walked.
I used to read all the time. A book was always in progress, and there were always several lined up behind that one, ready to be devoured.
Writing? Ahem. You know how that one goes. SEVEN MONTHS.
Yikes. Beth’s inquiries hovered and then settled in my brain until it became almost like a mantra…over and over. Are you walking? Reading? Writing? No, no, no.
So I told my therapist about it. We had already been discussing how out of whack I’ve been feeling, like all I do is work and how nothing feels even remotely controllable. She helped me figure out a plan. One step at a time, you know? God I absolutely love therapy you guys. It has made change possible and I am learning so much.
Now I’m learning how to take back some time just for me.
It started with an early wake up time, followed by a walk. I did it on a Monday, and then the next day, and the whole week. And then started again the next week.
Now, when Beth asks again, I have a “Yes”.
Pretty soon, there’ll be thrice yeses.
Bet you missed me slaughtering the English language 😂