BPBP: The Bullet Point Blog Post

• It's been over a month since I've posted, and OMG I love you guys so much. Emails and comments and concern..."Hope you're okay!?!" messages. Come here and give me some sugar, my lovelies. Feel free to pull my hair just a tiny bit while we hug. Too much? Sorry. You bring out the lover in me.
• I'M FINE. Kids are fine, dog is fine, everyone is fine. It's just taking me a while to adjust to our crazy new schedule.
• Speaking of schedules: YES I AM EMPLOYED. Full time, insurance, sick days, the whole kit and caboodle. I have an angel disguised as an elementary school principal to thank for this. To say I'm #blessed is a massive understatement.
• The new hours are insane. I'm at school by 6:30 a.m., and three days a week I don't leave until 6:15 p.m. I'm wearing several hats and love each one of them. Clerical, teaching reading to first graders, supervisory/para stuff...after this year I will be highly qualified to perform just about any job in an elementary school. Except, like be a real teacher. I'm thinking of going back to school again...
• So with the new hours, my two remaining kids at home are 100% responsible for getting themselves up and ready and out the door for their bus at 7:00 a.m. And guess what? THEY'RE NAILING IT. Proud of my boys. We've only had one "omg mom we overslept why didn't you wake us up" call and now they know I mean business. Funny how it's taken me almost two decades of parenting to learn this lesson: give them the responsibility and they'll do it. Hanging my kinda-sorta enabling parenting head in shame.
• My two college babies are thriving and surviving. It's hard for me to not try to live vicariously through Molly, though: she's nothing at all like I was in college (thank GOD) and although I know it's a good thing, part of me is worried that she's missing out on some of those stupid, beer-scented memories. Then someone (usually Molly) will remind me that I never graduated and my focus becomes clear again. 
• Hello, fall television. I'm in love with Viola Davis and "How To Get Away With Murder", my second-in-command-pretend-boyfriend James Spader and "The Blacklist" and I'm gonna admit it right here, the boys on "Chicago Fire" keep me warm. I've also caught up on "The Good Wife" and of course Sunday nights are whole again thanks to "The Walking Dead" (although the last episode bored me to tears...). We also enjoyed "The Strain", thanks to Corey Stoll who is a tall, thick oak-tree I'd climb in a hot second.
• Hey! I had a birthday! I'm 48 now and somehow still feel like a 20-something inside. I had a big party at my house and was surrounded by friends and love and martinis. It was beautiful:  

  

  I've know these ladies for over 30 years. Love, love, LOVE.

• Speaking of parties, my BFF Danielle and I hosted a Halloween bash at my house last weekend. We fretted and worried that nobody would come and it would end up just being the two of us, drinking and taking selfies. We were so pleased that not only did a bunch of people show up, it was a raging good time. Next year's party is already being planned. We did manage to take one kick ass selfie, though:  

  

  Axl and Slash in the house! We had to bum a cig from one of Danielle's young coworkers. 

• Okay so I kind of lied about everything being totally fine. I was completely stressed out during October, which killed me because October is usually the last sweeeet and fun month before the holiday stuff kicks in. But, the alimony that Big Daddy has been paying pretty faithfully for the past few years was scheduled to end on November 1st (have you heard of a Karon waiver? It was in our decree where alimony was concerned and it was a blessing/curse. More about that later). I've known the day was coming and tried my best to prepare for it. It's not a huge amount but of course it's helped. So I was freaking out about having this hole in my finances. Turns out the end of alimony means that child support goes up. Way up. I pretty much gave myself an ulcer wondering how I'd approach him with the numbers that the Minnesota child support calculator gave me. Talked to my lawyer friends, consulted with the hens, basically agonized over every single worst-case scenario my cuckoo brain could come up with. Turns out...all it took was an email. Is it possible that we've reached the amicable stage of our divorce? After only 8 years? So, my whackadoo bad thoughts have been put to rest for now, and I'm feeling pretty freaking good about life. I will say, stress is a total bitch. I couldn't sleep, couldn't focus, chewed the inside of my mouth to a pulp and ate pretty much everything that I could fit in my pie hole. When he agreed to the child support, I felt that monkey climb off my back and I've been walking on sunshine ever since. Still eating, though, because it's November in Minnesota and that's how we do.
• How's menopause, you ask? I'd like to say THANK YOU to my wise sister-friends who advised me to hang onto the boxes of super plus tampons in my bathroom closet. Because after two blissful months of menses-freedom *bam* it came back. Like a mofo. Sigh. At least now I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm also very thankful to have a black office chair. 

That's the end of the bullet pointing, folks. I will be back, just like Arnold in The Terminator. Thank you all for hanging out and checking in and just basically being your wonderful selves. Now I'm off to research UV lights to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder. #winteriscoming